What The?: Solange ROCs Jay-Z

As this has been my longest hiatus to date, let me first begin this post with a heartfelt, two-count apology:

1.  Firstly of course, for not being able to condense all my life’s activities into the same 24 hours that God has afforded Oprah, Malala Yousafzai and Kim Kardashian.

2. For climbing out of dormancy to bring you all this bit of breaking tomfoolery.  My husband told me that if I was going to publish this post, I should at least admit that while I do strive to advance myself spiritually, socially and through modes of learning and higher education, the God’s honest truth is that while not completely absorbed by foolishness and absurdity, I do on occasion let the clutches of ratchetness envelop my soul…a tiny little bit (for which I intend to begin my penance shortly).

Now, in the ever-so-clever words of Mobb Deep, “there’s a war going on outside, no man is safe from…” 

Unfortunately, while Prodigy and Havoc were undoubtedly pontificating about their daily struggles on the mean streets of Queensbridge in the mid 90’s, they obviously didn’t realize that in just two short decades, that war would pale in comparison to the one that people regularly fight through the medium of social media and the internet; a war in which NO ONE is spared. Apparently, this has been made all the more evident by TMZ’s recently released “surveillance” video shot (and sold by some dummy who will obviously no longer be gainfully employed) of music royalty, The Carters and Solange Knowles while on an elevator at the Standard Hotel after last week’s Met Gala in New York.  Now, I won’t pretend to know what set off Solange’s mollywop trigger (however, any person with even a rudimentary understanding of addition coupled with a little cause and effect could most likely surmise accurately on the matter…I’m just saying), but as shown in the video, your girl attempts to put in WORK on her brother in-law, while still glammed out in her coral Philip Lim cocktail dress and never askew wig!!

But for me, what was even more bizarre was the fact that although styled, tucked and taped to perfection in her peakaboo Givenchy gown, King Bey made no real effort to intervene or mediate the fracas between her sister nor her husband.  Jay was bobbing and weaving, Solange was throwing up her set, her purse and a karate kick and Beyonce stood silently, lest she crease the organza of her gown.  Seriously, it was almost as if her Ambien-Xanax cocktail chose just that moment to kick in.

I’d be lying however if I didn’t say I was impressed with Jay-Z’s restraint.  If not for his wisdom (or the constraints of arthritic knees, who knows?), the publicity surrounding this melee could have taken a much uglier turn.

So, what say ye?  Should Beyonce have attempted to settle things between her sibling and her spouse?  And, what in the world could have possibly occurred to make Solange behave in such a frenzied manner?  But most importantly, will the Carters add Solange to the line-up now and rename their tour “Family Affair”???  I imagine we will ALL be staying tuned for this one!

Police Deliver Devastating News Via Facebook

From the “What In The Ham Sandwich” Files…

Occasionally you can find me thoroughly entertained by a host of my blogging, social media and even journalism friends (all of whom, hold these posts as real and paying professions) who will from time to time, strongly debate with one another over the merits and pitfalls of utilizing social media as a source for uncovering, reporting and relaying significant news.  And of course, these conversations usually end with dismissive attitudes, elitist posturing and we all inevitably agreeing to disagree.

I do believe however that we were all pretty much on the same page after I emailed this recent story around and we kissed our collective teeth in disgust as the article revealed that a Georgia woman learned of her son’s death through a Facebook message from the local police department.

After searching for almost a month for her son Rickie, Anna Lamb-Creasey received confirmation via Facebook from the Clayton County Police Department that her son had been struck by a vehicle and killed on January 24, 2013.  In an array of news broadcast interviews, Lamb-Creasey told reporters that she did not know that messages from Facebook users who were not on her “friends list” could show up in an “other” labeled inbox.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I consider myself a pretty knowledgeable Facebook user, and I think even I would have found that type of cloak-and-dagger communique enough to either hit delete or report it as spam.  To think that it could have been a message about the status of my child is outrageous and simply maddening!  What’s worse is that Lamb-Creasey said that she was even more confused about the message, because the Misty Hancock Facebook profile picture was actually a photo of  Atlanta rapper, T.I. and his daughter at a birthday party (WHAT?!?!?! *Lil’ Jon voice*).

After twenty days had passed, Lamb-Creasey’s daughter found the unopened Facebook message received by her mother and opened it. The brief correspondence was from a person named Misty Hancock with a message requesting that Lamb-Creasey contact Lt. Schindler.  She called the number referenced in her mother’s Facebook message, and it was only then that was she told of Rickie’s death.

Understandable, Lamb-Creasey and her family are upset at how they found out about her son’s death, and why no constructive effort was made to reach her sooner, and personally.  A spokesman for the Clayton County Police Department said of the Misty Hancock Facebook account that it had formerly been used in an undercover capacity and was not intended to be revealed to the public.  Because of that apparent breach, the department now plans to investigate exactly why it was used to contact Lamb-Creasey.  The spokesperson also asserted that several attempts by officers were made to reach Lamb-Creasey, but they simply could not contact her.

Wait…what?  You mean, between all the Task Forces, Undercover Agents, Detectives, Beat Cops, Meter Maids and DMV records at their disposal, the Clayton County PD couldn’t find this woman to let her know that her child had been killed!?  I will say that I have a certain reverence for police officers and those who put themselves in harm’s way to preserve the safety of me and mine, but that is not this.  That can’t be this!  I will also say that I know that budget cuts and constraints all over the country have led to departmental cutbacks and creativity in how some officers are able to perform their jobs, so I won’t even lob a “desk jockey on point-and-click patrol while eating donuts” insult at the CCPD.

What is worth saying however is that Anna Lamb-Creasey and her family deserved better than a fake-me-out Facebook message that thank God her daughter bothered to read (again, thinking it was a solicitation, I can’t say that I would have even entertained it)!  I cannot even begin to imagine the stress of living with uncertainty for almost a month, only for it to be compounded by discovering that that uncertainty was now a reality…delivered through the host site of Farmville.

#DoBetter

America’s War on Terror: The PISS de Résistance?

Graphic: Scroll to the end of this post  for video of Marines caught urinating over Afghan bodies. 

Upon first hearing of this defilement and having since had several intense conversations with friends, family and social media followers alike, I could not help but to be sickened by the alleged actions of members of our otherwise highly regarded armed forces, and even some of the commentary which has teetered almost on excusing said behavior.

For those not familiar with the story, an anonymous source posted a video to the internet which depicts four members of the 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marines out of Camp Lejeune in North Carolina, in combat gear standing over three Afghan corpses with their genitals exposed as they relieve themselves.

While the men aren’t readily identifiable in the shocking viral spectacle, they can be heard joking and making statements like ‘Have a great day, buddy’, ‘Golden like a shower’ and ‘Yeahhhh!’ as they moan in apparent relief and release.

From the White House to local barbershops, within hours of the video’s release, most anyone with a heart, conscience, a moral compass or a at least a modicum or respect for humanity had been vocal in speaking out against this disgusting display.  Not surprisingly though, there have been those who were equally as vocal in (almost) defending the alleged actions of these soldiers.

Though speaking from a place of experience and understanding, Ex-Army Lieutenant Colonel and current Florida Rep. Allen West insisted that the Marines were wrong but angrily defended:

“As for everyone else, unless you have been shot at by the Taliban, shut your mouth.  War is hell.”

 The “everyone else” that Mr. West referred to included (but was clearly not limited to) political pundits who he deemed over-emotional, self-righteous and armchair quarterbacks over their opinions on the future of the men and the disgrace that they’ve brought the armed forces.

One media pundit not fitting into Mr. West’s mold however is CNN correspondent and conservative radio host Dana Loesch.  Sharing her views on a St. Louis radio station this week, Loesch made her opinion clear:

 “’C’mon people, this is a war.  Do I have a problem with that as a citizen of the United States? No, I don’t.”

She also said that she would give a million cool points to these guys and would be willing to join them.

Classy lady.

Realistically though, I do get it.  Though never personally having had the remarkable courage or desire to serve my country in the armed forces, I have had family to serve in Vietnam and even members who’ve done multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The horrendous stories I have been told of survival and daily life in those war-torn regions are cringe-worthy tales that I still cannot even wrap my mind around, so yes, I am sympathetic.  Living through an ordeal like that; I am sure continues to be a nightmare within itself.

In that regard, Mr. West is absolutely correct.  It is easy for civilians to pass judgment and make baseless comments about behaviors enacted in war when they have never stared death in the face or had to decide between their lives or that of the insurgent trying to blow their heads off.  Still, like I tweeted earlier this week, I honestly do understand the whole “psychology” of a solider and cringe at all they are liable to see and required to do, but the standard of The United States and that of our Marine Corp. is just too high for that behavior.  In this country, we cannot insist that we be recognized as beacons of the free world, yet relegate ourselves to urinating on people…dead people, for kicks.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Will Get You Fired!

Okay listen.  Just like most, I find true entertainment in music and sports.  And on that rare occasion when the two are perfectly blended, I have no problem with a good time being had by all.

THIS however, was not one of those instances.  Sure, this is gut-bursting hilarity funny, clearly executed for the sake of the on-looking baseball population, and was likely a little bit staged, but let us be serious for one minute.

This man’s job is not to be a Luke Dancer or Beyonce’s drop-it-like-it’s-hot surrogate.  He is a snug-blue-shirt-wearing security guard, hired to ensure that the Tampa Bay Rays’ outfielders and third baseman were protected from rogue fruit individuals seeking to disrupt the sanctity of American’s (former) favorite pastime.

Besides, is he not aware that with the black unemployment rate currently at 15.8%, booty-clapping in left-field could result in a banana in the tailpipe a pink slip?

 

Thanks to Ray J, Kevin Hart’s Next Stand-Up is Going to Be a Classic!

By now we’ve all heard (or read the transcript of) Ray J’s fake-me-out thug rant about rapper Fabolous. Apparently, Brandy’s little brother took exception to being laughed at singing and playing the piano in Floyd Mayweather’s living room during a 24-hour concert he hosted before his underwhelming, overpriced boxing match last weekend in Vegas.

Long story short (sorry folks, I fear that Ray J’s verbal diarrhea might be contagious, so you won’t find it here) after likely marinating on Fabolous’ teasing of him and his lameness, and his entourage hyping him up not to be insulted, Willie Norwood , Jr. had one of the most epic, deplorable and embarrassing (for mankind in general) meltdowns, as aired by New Yorks, 105.1’s “The Breakfast Club”.

What was most funny (read: painful and unfortunate) was the fact that after Ray J finished his tirade about how he doesn’t tolerate *expletive* disrespect from *expletives* and how insignificant a music artist Fabolous was in comparison to he, Ray proceeded to boast pretentiously about his worldly goods, his “money team” membership and his nefarious relationship with goons who take indecent and illegal liberties with unsuspecting men.

In Fabolous’ later response, he pretty much refuted Ray J’s whimsical flights of fancy, but not before confirming a few similarities. Like the fact that Kevin Hart (and a few other celebrities) were present for the fake fisticuffs and would attest to the non-main-event.

And it is for that one reason that for the next 24 hours I plan to follow Kevin and historically explore his tweets from Saturday Night.  It’s like the material for his next stand-up pretty much just wrote itself!!!!

Buffoon of The Week: Republican’t Jeff Landry

Did anyone see this dunder-head last night? Talk about exercising your first amendment right at the expense of revealing your confounding idiocy to the world (and of course, looking like a Grade A jackass!).

Clearly, Rep. Jeff Landry of Louisiana did not get (or he conveniently deleted) the memo yesterday that called for all Congressional leaders to play nice during President Obama’s job speech before the joint session of Congress. And while he did not rage “Joe Wilson style” last night, Landry was resolve to be (un)civilly disobedient while The POTUS discussed getting Americans back to work.

Now, unlike many of Rep. Landry’s colleagues who couldn’t show even a modicum of respect to the President by being in attendance, only to later blame their absence on the flooding cause by Tropical Depression Lee (here’s looking at you Michele Bachmann and your raggedy and “misguided” after-speech press conference), the Republican Representative from Louisiana was in attendance, but with an agenda of his own.

When President Obama got to the part of his speech acknowledging that Republicans may have ideas that differed from his own $447 billion jobs package, Landry held up a printed sign that read: Drilling = Jobs.

To be fair, Landry’s break from decorum was certainly not as egregious an offense as Rep. Wilson’s two years ago or the scores of other incidents of unapologetic disrespect coming from The Right toward Obama, but offense it still was. When are these politicians going to realize that their do-nothing stances, belligerent personal attacks, baseless claims and cantankerous demeanors are all quite unattractive to the people whom they were elected to represent and serve? Further, with the social and financial woes currently befalling this country and a Congress approval rating at just 12%, don’tcha think these politicians would at least “appear” receptive and interested in meeting Mr. Obama halfway to fix what’s broken in Washington and beyond?

But more than just the rigmarole of playing politics, for me, this is one incident in a long line of petulant, insolent and openly defiant acts of classless behavior toward The President. I won’t even bother addressing the root of said behavior or why some of these conservatives frothingly attack Obama (no, not Obama’s politics…Obama the man) because whether America admits it or not, we all know the words to that hymn. But I would venture to say that with the value of our Dollar only worth 2/3 of The Euro, foreclosures and lay-offs across the nation abounding and our indebtedness to China being something even our children’s children will live to experience, what Rep. Jeff Landry should have been doing last night was listening to determine if he could find common ground with some of The President’s ideas and proposals instead of questing for the most ideal moment to try to upstage the POTUS with that got’darn sign!!!

See folks, that is why it is so important that we do our part and vote, stay versed on the issues and hold our elected officials accountable. Because at the end of the day, if American politicians don’t get real, and do so quickly, we are all going to be in trouble (translation: requesting that our Value Meals be upsized…in Mandarin). Let us pray!

*Leads readers into Altar Call*

Coming Out of The Closet: My Life = God’s Favorite Sitcom

Does anyone know what I’ll be doing this weekend? Oh c’mon, take a guess!

I’m convinced that God and his army of angels regularly congregate around the Throne of Grace and heartily laugh at the various antics, events and mishaps that make up my daily life!  And if that really is the case, then I am sure that they all were doubled over and in need of a TV timeout over the past 48 hours!

For those of you who don’t follow my social networking rants, I tweeted yesterday that my honey was not happy with me thanks to the warped state of three of my closet rods.  Well instead of posting pics and giggling about finally getting my custom closet, what I should have been doing was some preventive maintenance.  Unfortunately for me, I dismissed the raggedy closet rods; an error in judgment that I would pay dearly for.

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I snatched a pair of khakis off the hanger and proceeded to get dressed.  Fully clothed, I began putting on my make-up when I heard a non-distinct creaking sound.  After waiting for a few seconds to determine its origin but not hearing it again, I went about my business.  For a second time, the creaking sound reverberated, but before I could go investigate, I was met by a huge CRASH as my closet rods, brackets, support beams, clothes, hats, shoes, purses and boxes went hurtling to the floor.

After a crying spell that made me late for work, I was resolved to leave the entire contents of my closet right where they landed until I returned home.  Ten hours later, everything is now picked up (though not put away) and I am awaiting my honey’s efforts in mounting my new closet system!  The plus side is that thanks to having to sift through all of my clothes, I have found several articles that I’ve not worn in at least a year (it’s like shopping for free) but conversely, with  my clothes all over my bed, dressers and floor, it’s likely that we won’t be getting much sleep tonight!

Pray Saints!

Football Please!?!?!

Roger Goodell, DeMaurice Smith, thirsty owners and opportunistic players, lend me your ear!  I can appreciate you all agreeing to come to the table like adults to find common ground (I’m looking at you U.S. Senate and the would-be Deficit Reduction Committee), but really? 132 days into this God-forsaken NFL lockout, and not one of you is concerned enough about my tickets, watch parties and unconscionable Beltway Rivalry (I “put on” for the Ravens and Skins….don’t judge me) to forgo “constructive conversation” and come to an agreement already!?

Sure, sure, I understand the need for both parties  to come to terms on a collective bargaining agreement and for the players who will be sacrificing their bodies and health to fill their bosses coffers for the next ten years to be prudent and thorough in reading and comprehending said CBA, but c’mon!  This dispute is between some billionaire owners and millionaire players.  Thousandaire fans like myself Cannot. Relate.

Besides, with my favorite teams (well one of them) needing all the pre-season help they can get and me waiting with baited breath to fashion my 2011 – 2012 Fantasy Team, this lockout, hold out, gobbledegoop needs to end post haste!  Trust me, there is only so much Professional Bowling as an alternative that I can take!

 

Messy Celebs, Sloppy Seconds & Why The World Is Too Darn Small!

Lawd, it’s like a ride at Disney World!

I think this story is a prime example of what we all have come to learn about the celebrity drivel that we are inundated with from day to day; it can be so outlandishly preposterous that sometimes we find that tabloids and gossip columnist aren’t even creative enough to make it all up.  Just ask Charlie Sheen.

Heck, ask Elin Nordegren.

In probably the worst and most twisted adaptation of Wife Swap known to man, the raunchy kissing and telling from Tiger Wood’s ex-mistress (yet again) has led to the further embarrassment and devastation of his ex-wife.  After being caught up in the media whirlwind surrounding her husband’s philandering with a multitude of “virtuously vacant” women, many cheered when Elin filed for divorce, got her $100 Million settlement and jet-setted off quietly into the night.  Unfortunately for Elin, moving on with her life and with a new beau has come at an even higher price.

Apparently weeks into her new relationship with billionaire marketing exec boyfriend Jamie Dingman, Elin learned that her filthy rich financier was just plain filthy and had a bit of a history with her nemesis, Rachel Uchitel aka The Mistress Ringleader who starred in last year’s Tiger Wood’s scandal.  The creepy Twilight Zone history in question was that Dingman and Uchitel had a liaison or two (or ten) before his relationship with Elin, and likely around the same time Uchitel was canoodling with Elin’s then husband, El Tigre.

But while we are hissing and booing at Uchitel on one hand for shamelessly helping to ruin a marriage while making her hootchie-mama ways profitable (tabloid features, Celebrity Rehab and that little $10 Million hush money from Tiger), and being embarrassed for Elin on the other, at the nasty discovery that she’s fostered relationships with the same two (count ‘em, two) men as the most popular home-wrecker in America, there is only so much sympathy that I can offer her.

I mean, really.  After the whole Tiger debacle and the very public collapse of her marriage, there is no way in the world Elin should have gone into any new relationship without first having a background check, credit report and an oral swab performed.  It’s not like she couldn’t have afforded to have even had a DoD clearance screening done if she’d wanted.  She should have had a “Fool Me Once” bumper sticker on her Maybach and a “Man Eater” tattoo on her bicep.  There is nothing about Jamie Dingman that should have caught Elin unaware, and especially so publicly!

But at the end of the day, I suppose the old adage still holds true.  No matter how much money Elin has, she’s clearly been unable to purchase love with it.  Perhaps after the smoke clears from this latest humiliation however, she will settle for buying several deluxe cans of whoop @&# instead, because obviously there are a few folks in her life who could benefit from such a generous gift!

Shame on The Casey Anthony Jury Pool…and Photo Shop!

If you know me, then you definitely know how I feel about today’s Casey Anthony verdict, but still…iCannot.com with this picture!

Didn’t take yall long, did it?

*SMH*