Archive | July, 2011

So…Girls Really Do Rule The World?!

31 Jul

A part of me recognizes the thinly veiled sexism.

…Another part, the potential for empowerment.

…Yet another, the crude attempt at humor.

Realistically though, while it certainly should not be seen as a women’s only value, her V(irtue) ought to be something powerful; something she herself recognizes as sacred and worth not bequeathing to just anyone.

Humph! But who needs feminist musings or moral reflection when we have a 60-second advertisement designed to peddle the key to lasting world peace and an end to the battle of the sexes…all in the form of fragrant cleansers and wet-ones?

SMH.

Man Child, You Can Get It Too!

29 Jul

While in my daily walk, I aim for modesty; choosing instead to let my actions speak for me, I did admittedly tout to you all my beasty prowess when it came to Words with Friends (aka Scrabble on Steroids, per our previous discussion).

Well apparently, my nephew (The Man Child) did not heed my warnings.  After proclaiming that he could whoop me and calling me out with his puberty-affected tenor voice, I had to put the no holds barred beat down on him, and rightfully set him in his place.

Suffice it to say, after I hit The Man Child with a few strategic moves, he was left with no other alternative than to throw the iPad on my bed, shut off all the lights and slam the door.

Looks like someone will be getting Anger Management CDs, a Thesaurus and a “Scrabble for Dummies” manual for Christmas!

P.S. The username’s Tiff Fanny Pack for anyone feeling experimental! 🙂

Boys Will Be Boys

29 Jul

Question:  What child eagerly bounces out of the house for a neighbor’s birthday party yet returns home 3 hours later with a busted forehead and a knot the size of a robin’s egg?

Answer:  The Big Boy

After the fun, festivities, cake, presents, piñatas, and so much candy and confections that I will be hand-delivering to my neighbors an invoice from the family dentist, my nephew walked through the front door, escorting my oldest son, who’s head was cocked all the way back.  When I asked them what was the matter, The Big Boy leaned forward and revealed a rather leaky injury.  Looking angrily from one boy to the other, my nephew finally raised his head skyward and told me to ask The Big Boy what happened.

“I bumped my head on a wall…” he said nonchalantly.

“…Diving for a balloon, TeeTee!” my nephew finished incredulously.

Apparently, to avoid remaining in “the middle”, my little monkey propelled himself and to tried to retrieve the key to his oppression.  Unfortunately, a wily living room wall snuck up on him and assaulted his forehead.  So thanks to my child’s daredevil antics, not only does his forehead require two stitches, but I will have to expedite shipping for his daily wear head gear.  Naw, I’m just kidding about the helmet, but I am seriously considering investing in a boy-sized protective bubble!

I’ve Never Supported the Notion of a Woman Simply Being Seen & Not Heard…Until Now!

27 Jul

While I don’t necessarily find her sound “rousing” no, I’m not talking about Keri Hilson’s singing.  What I am talking about however, is her recent “I-really-should-be-utilizing-the-services-of-my-publicist” twitter moment.

Often characterized as a sensual and empowered entertainer, “Miss Keri Baby” earned the labels cruel, insensitive and rude when she posted a tweet about the late Amy Winehouse that rubbed many of her fans the wrong way over the weekend.

While out partying in New York, the singer came across a young woman who was so eerily done up (in Hilson’s opinion) that she had to speak (and twitpic) about it:

“*gasp* Amy Winehouse resurrected to party w/ me!!! (seriously, uncanny resemblance)”

But after the maelstrom of reproach and censure ensued, Hilson tried to make amends with a few clean-up tweets.  Unfortunately to me many, her apology seemed more defensive than contrite:

“Come on, I mean no harm. All due respect. But really the resemblance freaked me out. This was simply the best tribute ever. #RIPAMYWINEHOUSE”

And then:

“Bedtime. I apologize 2 anyone who might’ve taken it the wrong way. As a fan, I thought it was cool that she dressed up to honor Amy.  I had no ill intent, but I understand how it appears insensitive…my bad twitterville. For real. Good night :)”

Now in reality, I am sure that most reasonable people understood that although a piss poor attempt at humor, Keri Hilson didn’t mean to be so uncouth, and that after she realized her gaffe, she likely cringed at her tactlessness.  Honestly though, for Keri to imply that some people might have taken what she tweeted the wrong way as opposed to simply acknowledging her own faux pas, it made her regret seem quite disingenuous.

Maybe as the ultimate act of contrition, it’s not too late for her to take a page from her collaborating buddy Chris Brown and delete her twitter account altogether (or release an apology video in a horrendous vermillion button down shirt).

Emotionally Drained

26 Jul

It is seldom that I come across a picture from the web that so accurately depicts what I am feeling, but this one does exactly that…it’s been that sort of a week for me this far, and it’s only Tuesday.

Perhaps once I’ve had the chance to reassess, reevaluate and fully decompress, I will be able to share my source of discomfiture with you guys, but in the meantime, simply take this opportunity to chat amongst yourselves or key in a subject in the search bar and just leisurely peruse The Pack (oh come on, I do this a couple of times a year; you all know the drill).

Night night!

I Wish I Had A Twin!

24 Jul

 

This might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen on the internet and the best use of Nintendo Wii’s “Just Dance II” for the toddler demographic.

This vid just goes to show that Andre 3000 is ever the crossover artist, and that the kid on the right has the meanest hip swivel since Shakira’s Whenever Wherever video!

Thank you interwebs for this viral gem amid all the heaviness that this weekend has had to offer.

Football Please!?!?!

22 Jul

Roger Goodell, DeMaurice Smith, thirsty owners and opportunistic players, lend me your ear!  I can appreciate you all agreeing to come to the table like adults to find common ground (I’m looking at you U.S. Senate and the would-be Deficit Reduction Committee), but really? 132 days into this God-forsaken NFL lockout, and not one of you is concerned enough about my tickets, watch parties and unconscionable Beltway Rivalry (I “put on” for the Ravens and Skins….don’t judge me) to forgo “constructive conversation” and come to an agreement already!?

Sure, sure, I understand the need for both parties  to come to terms on a collective bargaining agreement and for the players who will be sacrificing their bodies and health to fill their bosses coffers for the next ten years to be prudent and thorough in reading and comprehending said CBA, but c’mon!  This dispute is between some billionaire owners and millionaire players.  Thousandaire fans like myself Cannot. Relate.

Besides, with my favorite teams (well one of them) needing all the pre-season help they can get and me waiting with baited breath to fashion my 2011 – 2012 Fantasy Team, this lockout, hold out, gobbledegoop needs to end post haste!  Trust me, there is only so much Professional Bowling as an alternative that I can take!

 

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