Archive | February, 2010

It’s So HARD, To Say Good-bye…

28 Feb

Whether it’s moving to a new state in the middle of your high school career, having to relocate for a new job or forgoing your old life in order to start afresh, leaving the only place you’ve ever known is always a difficult resolution.  Having been released by the San Diego Chargers on Wednesday after an accomplished nine-year career, it stands to reason (and if his press conference is any indicator) that LaDainian Tomlinson is feeling much of the conflicting emotions and frustration associated with having to say goodbye to the only franchise he has ever been a part of.

While his release, for all intents and purposes seems to have been expected since the end of the football season, the probable Hall of Famer was a virtual water fountain as he spoke to the media about his history with San Diego, his unceremonious exit and his future plans.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am very sympathetic to the current plight of Ladainian.  Of the current class of NFL players, LT seems to be one of the few athletes with his scruples about him, a genuinely good heart, and a respectable presence both on the field and off.  He had a great career there.  He created an element of longevity in the workplace, having stayed at his job for nine years, and having received a pink slip after of all of that, truly sucks.  But as sympathetic as I am, he’s not been laid off with no job prospects in his immediate future, and he surely isn’t broke.

That being said, Tomlinson’s emotions are reasonable, his tears certainly understandable and he’s entitled to them both; so much so that I wanted to “caption” them here.  Take your pick for the best fit below:

  1. Actually, it DOES rain in Southern California.

  2. C’mon! I JUST bought the Gulf Craft!

  3. No longer will I be wearing Charger Blue-hoo-hoo!

  4. If My Jersey Had Longer Sleeves, that’s where I’d wear my emotions!

  5. THIS hurts worse than all of my other football injuries!

 Okay, okay. I can’t mock LT like this; I like him far too much!  Whatever the closed-door decisions were that decided his fate with San Diego and no matter how immensely he is going to miss The Charger organization, it is truly their loss.  I am sure though, that he will excel wherever he ends up…maybe even find himself on the road to that elusive Super Bowl!  Anyway, here’s wishing Ladainian Tomlinson Godspeed in his future football endeavors. 


Friday Night Olympics & This Awesome BBP App!

27 Feb

No, my bedroom wasn’t fire bombed, that’s the Olympic Flame, courtesy of my Blackberry’s itsy bitsy pixeled camera. And, before you ask: Blogging By Phone.

So, seeing as how I am enjoying the dizzying effects of men’s Short Track Speed Skating, the roulette-ish danger of Bobsledding and the death-wish thrills of Alpine Downhill Skiing (all from the comfort of my own home thank you kindly), I figured that instead of not blogging all together, I’d try out this app and see if it really does allow me to post a piece from my phone.

How does it look? Should I just stick to my daily rantings via my desktop or laptop? Or is it seamless enough that I can blog now from anywhere??? Which would be excellent, because I’ve always wanted to on-the-spot rant in Walmart about that horrible cashier/bagger that ALWAYS puts my eggs in with the three pound bag of apples. ALWAYS!

Anyway, no more stalling, I’m about to press “Publish”. I won’t be able to see the full results until morning, so here’s hoping!

A Double-Minded Soft Drink Company Is Unstable In All Of Its Ways…

25 Feb

Book of Beverages Chapter: 1, Verse: 8

For those with National Pan-Hellenic Council ties or for those who simply enjoy exciting little rarities in popular culture, last weekend’s National Sprite Step-Off in Atlanta, GA had all the components of a competition truly laced in shock and awe.

Almost a week later, after thousands had watched the University of Arkansas’ Zeta Tau Alpha sorority’s show-stopping first place finish, word from the competition’s sponsor (Coca-Cola Company, parent company of Sprite) must have seemed more like a plot right out of the next big Bring It On (and on and on) slash Stomp The Yard (even HARDER) movie hybrid, than the new results of a legitimate contest.

Zeta Tau Alpha Sorority learned with the rest of the world that after discovering a scoring discrepancy in the sorority stepping results, competition officials at Sprite determined that the Tau chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. from Indiana University (who placed 2nd at the event) would be named as ­co-winner and be awarded an identical $100,000 prize to the one that the ladies of ZTA earned as a result of their original competition win.

Okay, a few things to note here:

  1. ZTA just happens to be a white sorority; a white sorority that performed well in the type of competition with a strong, traditionally black heritage.

  2. Sprite’s recognition of this so-called “discrepancy” came only after a few competition attendees alleged that the judges were more surprised and impressed that a white sorority could actually “step” rather than judging fairly the sororities that were already presumed able to step.

So…I’ve got to know what someone else thinks.  View the women of ZTA and the ladies AKA’s.  Regardless of whom you think should have won the women’s portion of the Sprite Step-off Competition, what of Sprite/Coke’s whole “do-over” stance?  Were they so afraid of the a potential beverage boycott at the next Johnson’s or Jenkins’ or Smith’s Family Reunion that they thought it better to say “my bad” now than see the corresponding results in their 3rd Quarter Sales? Oh, and what was that little discrepancy that caused this entire hubbub anyway?

Carbonation-deprived minds want to know.


Why Vetting Your Spokesperson Is So Important!

24 Feb

Funny what you stumble upon while channel surf during prime infomercial hours…

 Priding myself in having taken year upon year of formal and conversational Spanish only to come away with a working knowledge of Central Florida’s finest “Spanglish,” I’d considered for the longest time, revisiting my foreign language studies outside of the classroom atmosphere.  Having seen ads for Rosetta Stone on numerous occasions and having spoken to a few people who’ve sworn by it as a foreign language learning tool for their jobs, I figured that perhaps I would go ahead and buy it, having nothing to lose, other than a few hours a night before my Español was once again muy bueno.

 Well wouldn’t you know it…no sooner than I grabbed my cordless phone (after stumbling upon yet another Rosetta Stone Commercial while watching Seconds Before Disaster on National Geographic…*don’t judge me*) totally preparing to dial the 800 number, did I see a dowdy-looking but still recognizable VH1 alum endorsing this educational product!

 In fairness, with only a few seconds to observe her “genuine” testimonial, I couldn’t be sure with all certainty that the bubbly woman touting her new found foreign language confidence was the same “Flavor of Love” turned “Charm School” turned “I Love Money” Leilene Smiley who wept and whined and yelled and grinded her way to Reality TV fame, but even Stevie Wonder could see that this boastfully bilingual chick was a dead ringer for the celeb-reality train wreck!

 Now if it was Leilene debuting as a functional member of society in this commercial, let me be the first to say that I am not mad at her hustler; even a woman who used to “make it clap” for a living should have aspirations of more wholesome exposure in her life, but I must say, the idea of her as a spokesperson for such a “premiere” product has me looking at Rosetta Stone with the ultimate side-eye.  I mean really, doesn’t anyone vet anymore (well, let me not ask that question, as there is a rouge Alaskan now roaming freely around the continental 48)?  But seriously, this company wants roughly $500 of my hard earned cash, yet they try to deceive me with a scandalous spokeswoman?

 Man please, this failure to background check has cost you a customer Rosetta Stone marketers!  I will gladly just see Señor Juan on Saturday mornings at the Y, thank you very much.

 Check out the video.  Am I tripping or is this in fact Leilene faking us out like she’s all normal and well adjusted?

Pay All My Bills Sherri, But How DARE You Talk About It!?

23 Feb

The whole idea behind having a sugar-momma or sugar-daddy (I’ve heard) is to break them off a ‘lil sumthin” in exchange for having them totally taking care of you financially, all the while keeping them a secret from your friends and theirs.

 Evidently Jeff Tarpley, didn’t get this memo and is finding that his requests for silence are falling on deaf ears.  Let me first go ahead and explain that Mr. Tarpley doesn’t have a sugar-momma taking care of him, but with his recent demands for privacy, one would believe that this is exactly what he thinks is the case.

 Ex husband of actress and The View star Sherri Sheppard, Tarpley is angry that Sherri continues to speak out about their divorce and his infidelity every chance she gets.  With a platform on the “I am woman hear me roar” The View, her stand-up routines and her Lifetime series “Sherri,”  Tarpley is vexed that his ex wife has no qualms with demonizing his “good name” in the media, even years after they’d both parted ways and have supposedly moved on.

 In an open letter written to his ex wife, Tarpley asks her in no uncertain terms to cease discussing the distorted details of their failed marriage if for no other reason than for the sake of their 4 year old son.  He continues his grievance by acknowledging that mistakes in the relationship were made, but were certainly not one-sided like Sherri has led the public to believe.

 Anyone familiar with the story of Sherri and Jeff (and how while during her pregnancy Jeff got another woman pregnant thusly ending their marriage) knows that Sherri spent years as a woman scorned in every sense of the word.  And while I believe that her anger and desire to stick it to Jeff on every possible occasion is warranted, I would have to agree with her ex husband, in that bad mouthing her child’s father will only lead to resentment and misunderstanding for her son in the future.

 What Jeff seems to forget (and what is obviously absent from his open letter) however is that in his divorce from Sherri, he was granted spousal support, so the money that Sherri makes each time she takes a dig at his cheating behind is the same cash that supports both Jeff and the ready-made family he gained after cheating on Sherri, his then wife.  For that reason alone, one would think that Tarpley would be less inclined to hop on a soap box and vent about what Sherri says publicly.  Just in case it hadn’t quite dawned on you Jeff Jeff: dude, she’s supporting you and your other woman!

Here is Jeff Tarpley’s open letter to Sherri Sheppard, courtesy of  Is he justified in his request for a Sherri Sheppard gag order, or should he simply let it go until he gets a job that supports himself and his family independent of Sherri’s spousal support money?

This Is What It Sounds Like, When Home Wreckers Cry!

23 Feb

I couldn’t even get over 72 hours of food poisoning (hence my lack of blogging over the course of the past few days) before I was once again sick to my stomach.  Fortunately, this nausea was not at the hands of some raucous Moo Goo Gui Pan; it did however leave a similar putrid aftertaste in my mouth thanks to an equally gross weepy adult entertainment professional.

 Although I spent half of my weekend ardently asking Jesus why he had forsaken me and the other half laid prostrate before the porcelain prince that is Kohler, I was still able to catch my favorite jungle cat’s international apology for his multiple sexcapades, marital transgressions and the idiotic and illogical belief that the “rules [simply] did not apply to him” while I munched on some tummy settling Saltines to rectify my food poisoning turned bubble guts (oh c’mon, we’re all family here right?).

 Too bad my “I-couldn’t-care-less, you-don’t-owe-ME-an-apology, save-that-solemn-face-for-Elin” attitude was not the global consensus once Tiger Woods’ “I’ll vaguely talk about what I did, just don’t ask me any questions about it” masterpiece statement was complete.  Oh no! In fact, there were those who thought that El Tigre’s “apology” was severely lacking, and should have encompassed not only more specifics, but their names as well.

 Before the Contrite One could finish his statement with a slightly audible “thank you” in closing and a brief search for his mother for an obviously necessary hug (striking a rather impressive standing fetal position in the process), Attorney Gloria Allred was on another frequency raining down fire and brimstone on Woods, and solidifying the kind of 15 minutes of legal fame that would have made the zoot-suited Johnny Cochran whistle in amazement.

 Representing Veronica Siwik-Daniels aka Joslyn James aka one of Tiger’s red-headed-step-children jump off’s, Allred tore into the golf star for wanting to make amends for his behavior, yet not taking the time to apologize to Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off by name.  She continued her tirade by highlighting that Woods and Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off had been in a three year relationship and read some rather racy texts messages from Tiger to prove it.  The best part of Allred’s legal diatribe though, (yes, it gets better) came when she clung to the hand of the crying Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off as she described how because of Tiger’s jealous nature, Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off had to give up her occupation and sole source of income as a “professional lady” of the adult variety.

 A blubbering Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off then came to the mic explaining how she’d be agreeable to a telephone apology from Woods, how she had a lot to deal with because of him, how it didn’t have to come to this and that while she never meant to cause his wife and kids pain, she couldn’t help falling in love with him.


 So, I would cross examine both these loons, but why bother?  I will not waste my time and even validate the demands of a delusional attorney and her clearly schizophrenic client, as I would much rather discuss biological warfare with Prince Kohler than give any credence to the imagined plight of this woman!

Don’t Call The People On Me…

23 Feb

There, there Pack, stop crying.  I am updating you as we speak.  I PROMISE that I’m not a negligent momma, I’ve just been a little out of commission lately. 

  And thank you Pack Readers for keeping my baby company in my absence! You all are some pretty amazing baby sitters!


%d bloggers like this: