Tag Archives: LOL!

Thanks Geico: Laughing Keeps the Crazy at Bay

12 Apr

I know this to be true from the very fact that I live “crazy” on a daily basis and have to giggle to keep from doing something that will have me ended up in bright orange.

Apparently, the people around me know this to be equally as true as well.  Why else would a former employee, out of the blue send me this text:

Geico

And wouldn’t you know it, once I viewed the above referenced video link from the brilliant Geico/Pillsbury Tag-Team marketing initiative, the giggles became laughter-turned-chortles and I could not help but grin like the village idiot for much of the day after that (who knew that Animated Crescent Rolls Dough and Car Insurance made a great pair?).

So for those of you with hectic schedules, nutty cohorts, insane associates or ridiculous workloads, take a second to enjoy this Friday Funny; I certainly did.

 

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When Chicken(heads) Come Home To Roost

5 Apr

For as much of a writer and storyteller as I profess to be, I must honestly admit that I can do this tale no justice; still I will try my best to convey the pure hilarity of the situation.  And for those of you who know my honey personally, please have him tell you this little anecdote when next you seem him.

So, the other night, after what seemed like weeks of phone tag, my honey attempted once again to call his sister.  Apparently that afternoon she had blasted him in a message about not returning her calls, so when he was forced to leave her a message after being prompted by her voicemail, he responded to her earlier lambasting in kind.  The next morning as he was leaving the house for work, he tried to call her once again, but was forwarded to her voicemail.  Feeling a foreign sensation of contriteness at his brusque words the night before, he apologized, told her he loved her and to call him when she got a chance.

Later that morning, my office receptionist patched my honey through to my business line (which I found incredibly odd, seeing as how he usually reached me on my cellphone when I am at work) and before I could properly greet him, the dude went berserk!  Trying to follow his disjointed sentences and biting tirade, I asked that he start from the beginning and let me know what had gotten him so incensed.

He said that shortly after returning his sister’s call, her number popped back up on his cellphone display screen, but when he went to answer it, it became all too obvious that he was not speaking to his sister:

Woman:  You need to stop f’ing calling my number!

My Honey: Excuse me? No, excuse you!?

Woman: You heard me. You have been calling the wrong number continually and you f’ing got me in trouble with my husband!

My Honey: Well I sincerely apologize for calling the wrong number but you might want to reconsider how you are speaking to me on this phone. Trust me lady, you don’t know me.

Woman: Yeah whatever, I just want to make sure you don’t…

Man: …Yeah, who is this?

My Honey:  Who is this?

Man:  This is the man whose wife you been f’ing calling all week.

My Honey: And like I explained to your wife, I have been calling her number in error, thinking she was someone else.

Man: Well, I think you better get your information straight and lose this f’ing number.

My Honey: Look man, you caught me in a good mood this morning, so I am not going to cuss you out like you deserve for talking to me all reckless as if I am some simp. What I will do however, is impart some words of wisdom, because it sounds like you could really use them.  Instead of you trying to be Billy Bad @$$ over the phone with someone who called your wife and had the wrong number, you might want to expend that same energy to find the dude who is calling your wife and clearly has the right number!

Click!

Obviously, my boss was out of the office that day, because I should have totally gotten fired for how hysterically I laughed at that exchange!

All Ozzie Wants Is Teamwork, The Anthem and Wins….Uniforms Optional

2 Sep

He’s outspoken, highly opinionated, full of –isms, has a potty mouth…but he’s knowledgeable; a decorated player, animated coach, celebrated manager and great for Baseball. 

I normally don’t tune in to America’s Favorite Pastime until well after The All-Star Break when teams either start taking wins and losses more seriously or are so far behind in the pennant race or MLB Power Rankings (Orioles) that they weed themselves out from my viewership.  But thanks to the almost daily antics of Ozzie Guillen, I can’t seem to get enough of Central Division Baseball (although I am clearly an American League Eastern Division kinda girl).

Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was recently bombarded with questions from reporters after the ink dried on the straight waver claim between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Sox, making Manny Ramirez, another over-the-top-baseball personality the newest addition to the team.  In true devil-may-care fashion, Ozzie fielded questions left and right about concerns over the bringing in the controversial yet play-making firebrand.

“I think it’s funny how people tell people ‘Manny be Manny’…Hey Manny, be real…To me he’s a great guy. He don’t have any problem with anybody.”

Ozzie went on to add that that although the big-time directives would come from owner Kenny Williams, he felt that Manny would accept his judgment and be a great addition to the club.

“It’s two rules I have. You gotta be straight with the team and be there for national anthem.”

Other than that, Guillen couldn’t be bothered with the player’s trivial matters (I’m paraphrasing).  But just before I could relegate this interview to the White Sox annals of boring sports-talk, Ozzie came through in a big way and sent me into a giggle fit with this little unfiltered sound bite:

“If the guys can go there butt naked, they don’t have to wear a uniform. They win game for me? I’m only happy for them.”

Pure Comedy!

Check out the video to hear his blunt philosophy for yourself.

You can also catch more Ozzie Guillen-isms, baseball rants, Latino pride and his love of Bed Bath and Beyond on twitter: @ozzieguillen

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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