Tag Archives: The Pack Kids

Playing Catch-up!

30 Mar

Have you ever just awaken one day, feeling as though you’ve shaken yourself loose from an alternate reality and had to ponder on how exactly you got to where you were?

Like, when did this happen?

Or, how did I miss that?

And, in my quest to do it all, have I really been accomplishing anything at all?

Unfortunately, that has sort of been my tale of woe over the past three months.  While I have been forced to be highly productive in many areas relating to my life and career, I feel as though I have been missing so many of the little things that, in en masse, are truly what make my life whole.

For instance, my inability to attend my ladies book club meetings; you have no idea how difficult describing Katniss and Gale and Peeta’s quasi-love triangle across three novels to my honey (who only wants to see the movie and couldn’t care less about the precise descriptors of Panem or the almost lyrical narrative of a country on the brink) has been.  Or having to regretfully decline an offer to coach students at my local track club because my schedule simply won’t allow it.  Or how about being shocked at learning something entire new and unexpected about my kids?

Eating Dinner with my Irish twins last night, I was doing a little raving over my spaghetti sauce loaded with grilled and sliced kielbasa (not vanity, just self-appreciation).  When I asked The Big Boy and Girl what they thought of their dinner, my son in no uncertain terms told me that he did not like my proffered meal.  After I got over my initial shock and hurt feelings, I asked him since when could he not abide by my cooking?  It was then that my daughter busted out laughing and said, “since he became a vegan!”


Babychild Chronicles: Get the Anti-Venom

27 Sep

I always find it amazing whenever I see my children’s personalities develop right before my eyes. Like today, when I came to the realization that my child’s imagination was greater than my will to work overtime.

Well into Day 2 of my “time and a half sure would be good right about now” take-home work session, the Babychild meandered into my den to determine exactly why he had not had my full and undivided attention in more than two hours.  But before he could engage me in a lengthy chat about his racing cars and The Backyardigans, I noticed some gnarly little marks on his neck.  When I asked him what happened, he looked at me rather dumfounded.  But it was when he ran down the hall to the bathroom mirror to see what I was talking about, that all hell broke loose.

 “Momm-ma! Momm-ma! Look at my owies!! I know what happened!”

I could already tell by his hyper declaration that this one was going to be a doozy, but I got up, headed to the bathroom and entertained his deduction.

 “A snake bit me…a snake with nun chucks!”

Stifling a snicker, I asked him what became of the snake.

 “He got snaked by another snake, and then I destroyed it with my karate moves!”

Silly me, surely I had to know that snakes were no match for Babychild martial arts.  Now there was the matter of the bites.

 “Ooooh. My neck really hurts momm-ma. But don’t worry. I think the brownies in the kitchen will make me feel all better.”

And just like that, my work was effectively put on hold this evening, as I had to administer medicine, of the confectionery variety to my little snake bite victim.

I swear, there is never a dull moment when it comes to The Babychild and his siblings! But maybe it’s these animated moments that are to be my salvation.  Perhaps I need to quit my job (with all of its after-hour work trappings) and pitch a Pack Kids reality series to TLC!


Man Child, You Can Get It Too!

29 Jul

While in my daily walk, I aim for modesty; choosing instead to let my actions speak for me, I did admittedly tout to you all my beasty prowess when it came to Words with Friends (aka Scrabble on Steroids, per our previous discussion).

Well apparently, my nephew (The Man Child) did not heed my warnings.  After proclaiming that he could whoop me and calling me out with his puberty-affected tenor voice, I had to put the no holds barred beat down on him, and rightfully set him in his place.

Suffice it to say, after I hit The Man Child with a few strategic moves, he was left with no other alternative than to throw the iPad on my bed, shut off all the lights and slam the door.

Looks like someone will be getting Anger Management CDs, a Thesaurus and a “Scrabble for Dummies” manual for Christmas!

P.S. The username’s Tiff Fanny Pack for anyone feeling experimental! 🙂

Boys Will Be Boys

29 Jul

Question:  What child eagerly bounces out of the house for a neighbor’s birthday party yet returns home 3 hours later with a busted forehead and a knot the size of a robin’s egg?

Answer:  The Big Boy

After the fun, festivities, cake, presents, piñatas, and so much candy and confections that I will be hand-delivering to my neighbors an invoice from the family dentist, my nephew walked through the front door, escorting my oldest son, who’s head was cocked all the way back.  When I asked them what was the matter, The Big Boy leaned forward and revealed a rather leaky injury.  Looking angrily from one boy to the other, my nephew finally raised his head skyward and told me to ask The Big Boy what happened.

“I bumped my head on a wall…” he said nonchalantly.

“…Diving for a balloon, TeeTee!” my nephew finished incredulously.

Apparently, to avoid remaining in “the middle”, my little monkey propelled himself and to tried to retrieve the key to his oppression.  Unfortunately, a wily living room wall snuck up on him and assaulted his forehead.  So thanks to my child’s daredevil antics, not only does his forehead require two stitches, but I will have to expedite shipping for his daily wear head gear.  Naw, I’m just kidding about the helmet, but I am seriously considering investing in a boy-sized protective bubble!

Packing Up: Family Road Trip

3 Jun

Actually, road trip would be putting it mildly.  While we’ll be taking our annual trek to Myrtle Beach for The Pack Kid’s Invitational Track Meet and enjoying some fun and sun as well, trust me when I tell you that frequent potty breaks, crying, space infringement, in-car DVD disagreements and threats to be put out on the side of the road will ensue early, and often.  But don’t be envious of all that excitement; you have more than enough stimulating goings-on to focus on in my absence.

I mean, with John Edward pleading not guilty to inappropriate campaign fund usage, Anthony Weiner being unsure of whether or not his crotch was actually the culprit, Sarah Palin touring the country to refine her national geography awareness, and the Egyptians (Mahmoud Abdel-Salam Omar) trying to out due the French (Dominique Strauss-Khan) in NY maid assaults, I’d say you have far more stimulants to get you through the next three days than I.

Have a great weekend Pack Faithful!

Jesus and Monster Trucks

8 Jan

Although I grew up in a staunchly religious household with parental units who believed that attending church all.the.time and being members of every sort of church auxiliary was the thing to do, and swore an oath to myself that when I married and had children of my own I would not shove religion down their throats the way I felt that it was rammed down mine, I must admit that after ten years in the game, I do enjoy attending church regularly with my family and teaching my children the importance of a sound relationship with God.

And while they have all proven to be receptive to the “Kingdom Philosophy”, it is The Babychild who (for whatever reason) seems to view church and God as a holy extension to his regular playtime activities.  Take today for instance.  As difficult as it was for me to wake him up from his afternoon nap, once I mentioned that it was time for church school, he all but catapulted himself out of bed.  As I was washing him up and getting him dressed, I asked him what he liked about church school.  He immediately rattled off the array of crafts, toys and games the staff let the children participate in.  I then asked him what he learned about at church school.  In true Babychild fashion, he told me Jesus…and monster trucks.

I suppose at his age, there is nothing better than learning about the King of King and Lord of Toys!



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