Archive | November, 2010

Skeeeeeee! It’s Snowing…At The Pack!

30 Nov

No, not the utility disabling, leaves-you-stranded-on-the-freeway, frost bite inducing kind.

But, VIRTUAL SNOW.  Ooooh, just look!!!!

It is officially Holiday Time folks, and in honor of Season’s Greetings, WordPress has reintroduced cyber flurries to the blogging masses.

Enjoy faithful, enjoy!

Why My Precocious Toddler Is Posted On Craigslist

30 Nov

Because of the firm but reasonable boundaries that me and my honey set for our children, they all know (the babychild included) that the quickest way to be given up for adoption is to 1) come into our room uninvited 2) mess with or take items out of said restricted room and 3) lie about it.  Well, the babychild (who loves to tippy-toe the line when it comes to rules) hit the trifecta today, and is currently awaiting his new set of parents to come pick him up!

While preparing dinner this evening, my youngest child was instructed to chill out with his cousin and catch up on his Spanish lessons courtesy of Dora and Boots.  Thinking he was safely in the bonus room getting his Noggin on, I finished cooking and setting the table so went to my room to boot up my computer to finish up some work that I’d taken home with me.

Thinking I was loco in the coco, I noticed that my laptop (the same one that I had wheeled into the house only a few hours before) was out of its rolling case and sitting a little too strategically in the middle of my bed.  Opening it up, the screen immediately went from black to 50-11 internet and application windows popping up, followed by the System Restore prompt notifying me that Windows had not started properly and that Start Up Repair would try to identify and resolve the problem.

Seeing red, I began to gaze around the room for definitive clues as to who exactly had hijacked my computer, before I started dispensing punishment of the hide-tanning variety.  No sooner than I filled my diaphragm full of name bellowing hot air, did the babychild conveniently meander into my room with his sippy cup in hand to inquire about his dinner.

Me: You can eat in a minute, but first I need you to tell me something.

Babychild: What you want me to tell?

Me: Did you touch my computer?

Babychild: (A little too quickly) No!

Me: Are you sure? Don’t tell me fibs.

Babychild: No, I just turned it on.

Me: You know you broke it right? Now mommy can’t do work.

Babychild: I will fix it, don’t worry.

Me: Um, no. You touching it in the first place is why it’s broken.

Babychild: I’m sorry mom-ma. And I’m hungry.

Me:  I am not very happy with you right now.

Babychild: But I love you, see (blows a kiss)?

Me: What should I do because you broke mommy’s computer?

Babychild: Call your friend.

*Sigh* I cannot with him! 

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that he might be right. I just may call my friend…my social worker friend!

How to Ruin Thanksgiving Leftovers

29 Nov

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Although videos like the one above have always deterred me from trying to deep fry my annual Thanksgiving entrée, this year we did successfully golden brown our bird, and didn’t even set our backyard landscaping or home ablaze to do so.

In this case however, these fine folks likely never even got around to the Thanksgiving Day meal, much less the Turkey Salad, Turkey Soup or Turkey & Swiss on Wheat leftovers thanks to their deep fried idiocy!  Check it out.

Dear Gawd, This Is All YOUR Fault! Thx Tho, Steve Johnson

29 Nov

It is truly amazing how quickly one can be humbled by God when the too-big-for-your-britches syndrome squeezes one’s butt-cheeks too tightly.  I mean, one week you can be merking T.O. and The Bengals with your three touchdowns and “Why So Serious” undershirt and the next, butter-fingering it up in the end zone for the game winner against the Steelers.  I think the test however is how one handles being humbled, especially in such a public and humiliating fashion.  And while I sat impressed after having watched a press conference where a young receiver took ownership for his role in said humiliating moment, I think he just as quickly lost that same respect when he later decided to indirectly fault The Lord for his Sunday afternoon performance.

Last evening, after the Buffalo Bills’ painful overtime loss to The Pittsburgh Steelers, Bills wideout Steve Johnson (who dropped what would have been the game-winning touchdown pass in the end zone) took to Twitter to air out his and God’s dirty laundry:

 

Ironically enough, after I sat with my honey and applauded Johnson for his maturity in not assigning blame for the tough loss to his quarterback or other teammates (which seems totally commonplace these days for many showy and high profile receivers) I logged in to Twitter to add him to my follow list.  Sure enough, it was this “Jesus, why’d you take the wheel, I had it!?!?” rant that left me scratching my head and dumbfounded at how quickly Stevie had determined that the fault actually was not his but God’s.

Perhaps what was even more ironic was the fact that while skimming #13’s other tweets, I noticed a rather poignant one that he’d retweeted only a day earlier:

 

Apparently in Johnson’s mind, that particular foretold sentiment wasn’t meant for his situation. 

But on the plus side, thanks to his sacrilegious meltdown, I don’t think Steve Johnson has to worry about the heavenly hosts sticking their halos in where they aren’t wanted anymore.

Undercovers Under Attack

29 Nov

Well, it’s official: NBC Has Disavowed Any Knowledge of These Primetime Spies.

I was reading a TV Guide article recently about the 10 network shows that were either on the bubble or scheduled for cancellation, and although not pleased, I am certainly not surprise that NBC’s Undercovers was listed as one of the shows slated to die a horrible, season ending death.

Now granted, as healthy and refreshing as it has been to see a married black couple in love, and unable to keep their hands off one another in primetime each week, the whole mantra and act of “sexpionage” every. single. episode. likely became more than a little cheesy and undoubtedly rubbed viewers the wrong way.  But if I’m being honest, I reckon there were quite a few scenarios with Undercovers that left many viewers skeptical and unresponsive:

  • For starters, while television eye candy is usually a customary attention grabbing feature in a new network series, unfortunately it was Steven and Samantha Bloom’s own beauty that may have ultimately been their demise. As offensively attractive as Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw are, coupled with their explosive on-screen chemistry, I think folks saw the conspicuous 6’5 caramel chew and the svelte beauty model type more as steamy daytime characters than having the rugged and resolute constitution for international espionage.

 

  • Next was the show’s generic and easily discernable plot: While disguised as owners of a successful catering business, agents Steven and Samantha Bloom are contacted by their superior to assist the agency in thwarting the plan of (insert terrorist group name here) to kidnap (insert scientist/foreign dignitary/family member here) who holds the final component to create a WMD, the likes of which this world has never seen. Armed with a pistol, the ability to speak multiple foreign languages, various martial arts moves and a tech savvy assistant, the Blooms utilize amazing time management skills to cross many-an-international-border, fight the bad guys, diffuse the weapon and rescue the hostage in an effort to circumvent World War III.. all within a 60 minute window. *Yawn*

 

  • Then of course, there was the viewership (which admittedly can’t be blamed on the Undercover writers or actors).  Although debuting at around 7 million viewers back in September, when pitted against competing staple shows like Fox’s Hell Kitchen and CBS’ Survivor, the show was simply not attracting its desired age demographic, especially when viewership statistics for that time slot already tended to skew toward an older age bracket. Since its fall season introduction, the 8 p.m. Wednesday Night series viewership has plummeted to around 5.8 million viewers each week; a factor which likely led to the show’s ultimate cancellation.

 

  • Perhaps however, the (trampling) elephant in the room was JJ Abrams’ own genius.  With more than 10 legitimate television hits under his belt (Felicity, Alias, Lost, Fringe and The Office to name a few), it would seem to be only a matter of time before the Emmy Award winning writer/producer/director suffered a severe case of writers fatigue…to the detriment of his freshman NBC drama.

Now, although NBC has opted not to pick up any additional episodes, Undercovers will still air through this Wednesday, December 1.  The final three episodes of the season however have yet to be scheduled.  Perhaps the network is hoping for a December surge in viewership in hopes of somehow resurrecting the series.  If that doesn’t work, I say Abrams and the crew should shop the show to BET. It’s definitely a long shot but if anything, with positive imagery of a stable black family (who just so happen to be covert operatives), Undercovers might just find a home…and help to redeem the sellout network that peddles tomfoolery under the guise of black entertainment.

Black Friday Foolery…Again

28 Nov

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Same buffoonery, different year.

No matter how many enticing television advertisements I see or sales papers that I receive in the mail each year, you can guarantee that whenever Black Friday approaches, I am not anticipating what great sales I’ll obtain if I’d only pre-position myself in a God-forsaken long line outside a major retailer on Thanksgiving night, but instead you can find me awaiting the nightly news coverage of individuals who’ve abandoned their sense of holiday humanity for the latest gadget or marked down knick-knack.

 As with every year, this Black Friday was no exception. From arrests for line-butting at Toys R’ Us, to parking lot muggings outside of various departments stores, the official holiday shopping kick-off day once again brought out the absolute worst in thousands of people who just 24 hours early, spent the day being grateful and appreciative for their families, lives, health and strength. But after watching this here clip, I had to wonder if some of these price dropping chains weren’t helping to perpetuate this bad and sometimes even dangerous buyer behavior.

Take for instance the fact that in this particular store (who much like Voldemort, shall not be named) they allowed shoppers to enter the store prior to some of the merchandise even being properly unloaded out of the shipping crates. It’s quite evident that most of the shoppers were already prepared to get the jump on the in-store deals. Why then would this store exacerbate the situation by allowing the shoppers entry before the store was even prepared to accommodate them? And then, once the melee began, for the department manager to actually be outraged and blowing a whistle in an effort to somehow stop the frenzy (over what looked to be coffee makers…c’mon people), it has to make you wonder what he really expected would happen (I’m guessing a handle-holding, testimony service).

Still, for all the complaining that I do with regard to After-Thanksgiving-Day-Heathens, just know that you won’t ever catch me out throwing elbows at 4 a.m. with the masses. If I can’t purchase those “gotta have” items online and on cyber Monday, then I will gladly wait for a reasonable non-MMA shopping day to do so, believe that!

I Cooked, I Ate… I Gobbled!

25 Nov

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Enough food cooked to feed the inhabitants of a small Polynesian island…check.

Enough food consumed to bust the seams of my 100% spandex leggings…check.

The setting-in of a lethargic and unapologetic fit of the ‘itis, likely to last into the first week of December…check.

Now, all that is left is to execute this awesome three minute workout tomorrow in an effort to lose the four pounds (and counting) that I gained in less than six hours.

**Shout out to Jungle Boogie for tricking out the “Chicken Dance” in such a way that I’d actually consider executing these moves at my company Christmas party this year**

Happy Thanksgiving from The Pack!

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