Tag Archives: R&B

Bey is for (Baby) Bump?

20 Oct

With wars on two fronts, the National Unemployment Rate nearing 10% and midterm elections less than 14 days away, it still boggles my mind how I can get an email or an instant message from a friend about some really inconsequential celebrity gossip and find myself rendered utterly distracted for the remainder of the day.

Such has been the case with Beyonce Baby Watch 3.0.  The last several times that it has been reported that a source close to the couple had revealed to the media Bey and Jay’s impending parenthood, it only took a few weeks, a custom fitted sleeveless onesie-tard and some twerked-out video dance moves to prove that short of subjecting her unborn fetus to shaken baby syndrome, there was no way the Queen Bey could be concealing a pregnancy.

Well it seems the rumor mill is at it yet again, and this time outlets like MSNBC and even the Today Show are having a say about the potential birth of Music Royalty.

[Insert Media Outlet Here] is reporting that the singer is pregnant with her first child, and that the news has come as a total surprise to her.

*Queue Inside Source’s Quote in 3…2…1…*

“B was shocked. She loves kids, but she wasn’t ready to be a mother just yet.  She really wanted to get her album done and tour the world again [but] this is a gift from God and she’s so happy.”

Honestly, if Mr. and Mrs. Carter are expecting, I can say that I am genuinely happy for them, but the reality is, she has been fervently unyielding about her personal life remaining out of the public eye for years.  I mean, she didn’t even want the world to know that she and Jay-Z had gotten hitched back in 2008 for weaves sakes.  So now some tabloids, with the assistance of a few liberal broadcasting outlets expect us to believe that Beyonce is giving the world a glimpse into her first trimester? 

 I think the only way they’ll get me to drink that Kool-Aid is if she pulls an Alicia Keys Pregnant-Piano-Crawl at the Grammy’s next year, or her water breaks in mid “Now put your hands up” at the 2011 Essence Festival.  Otherwise, as far as I’m concerned, they’re just reporting water weight.

 Still, when Beyonce finally does settle down and decides to have a family, you have to admire that she’s lived on her own terms. It’s always awesome to see a young woman with the ability to look back and relish in the fact that she’s experienced such a full life so early on, that she has simply lived for herself and that she can one day share those stories of independence and discovery with her children.

 Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t particularly wax poetic for Beyonce Knowles, but I must admit that I’m not mad at her either. 

 Do you boo.

“They’s Married Now!”

2 Aug

Chelsea Clinton was not the only notable celebrity to tie the knot in a private but grandiose ceremony this weekend.  While the former first daughter was becoming Mrs. Marc Mezvinsky in a paparazzi-free service with a reported 400 tight-lipped guests in Rhineback, NY, on the other side of the world another luminary wedding had taken place.  In a ceremony officiated by spiritualist Deepak Chopra near the French isle of Corsica, Kaseem Dean aka Swizz Beatz demonstratively (and finally) made an honest woman of his Grammy Award winning superstar fiancé, Alicia Keys.

 The pair was married in a ceremony reported to have taken place aboard a 260 foot yacht overlooking the Mediterranean Sea near the exclusive Costa Smeralda enclave.  Like Chelsea Clinton, Keys donned a Vera Wang original for the special day, while her beau was decked out in a Tom Ford white tuxedo-fusion ensemble.  Friend of the couple, Christian Louboutin designed the wedding footwear for both the bride and groom.  Aside from the couples family and close friends who were in attendance, it’s been reported that celebs like U2’s Bono as well as Queen Latifah were among the stars on the high-profile guest list.

 Having stumbled upon this “breaking news” last night and then again in a CNN.com story this morning, the nuptials were described as “a wedding between R&B power couple Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz.”  It is simply amazing to me how all of a sudden, mainstream media has coined the two a “power couple.”  In fairness, Swizzy has held his own as a super-producer over the last decade, but it seems a stretch to me that his marrying Alicia Keys would now propel their relationship into the realm of power anything in the eyes of mainstream media.  I suppose though, since Alicia has continued to be the darling of R&B (the recent home-wrecker accusations notwithstanding), her marriage called for some sort of conspicuous coverage and categorization, even though her husband was a virtual unknown outside of the Hip-Hop/R&B world until news of their affair relationship came to light back in 2008.

 For me, I think it will be interesting to see how Swizz and Alicia quickly go from R&B newlyweds to proud “power couple” parents in the media in just the next few months, and if the world will remember that although this will be their first child together, the baby’s pappy has sired three other children (two with his ex-wife Mashonda Tifrere and one other, whom it appears he doesn’t openly acknowledge).  Regardless of the way that I personally feel about their relationship though, I am not saying that they don’t have the right to move on with their lives and be happy.  What I am saying however, is that I am always very amazed to find a situation where scandal and infidelity are so easily swept under the rug and dismissed when otherwise respected and celebrated figures are involved, while their less famous ex’s are left with the “other” children and looking like angry and bitter ne’er do wells.

 But hey, although united through situations and factors on seemingly opposite ends of the marital spectrum, I wish both the Mezvinskys and The Beatzs a happy and prosperous marriage where love, integrity and fidelity shape the legacy of their lives together.

“I Keep On Fallin’…”

6 Jul

Heading in to work today, it was all I could do not to lose my sanity amidst all the Essence Music Festival reviews and discussions.  Don’t they have that shindig every year?  I scoffed to myself (admittedly the musings of the caffeine deprived hater in me who hasn’t yet been able to overcome the scheduling conflicts that would enable me to successfully book a trip to New Orleans) and if you’ve been to one Festival, you’ve been to them all, I continued exasperatedly (again, this killjoy spirit was brought to you courtesy of the realization that I’d most certainly missed out on some great music, excellent chicory coffee and authentic beignets again this year)!

But before the celebratory recapitulation could totally ruin my morning, I was ushered to a music blog site which highlighted a few performances from Festival Weekend.  It was only then that the overzealous Essence banter began to make sense.  On this site I saw the now infamous clip of Alicia Keys’ back-peddling sashay and subsequent half-back-somersault stumble on stage, which caused me to gasp in horror (the exhale didn’t come until I saw that she was able to get up under her own power and SADDOWN at the piano…where as a precaution, she should’ve been from the start).

Now in my past sanctimoniousness, I’ve undeniably given Alicia and Kaseem a hard time, but the reality is that I’ve never stopped liking her as an artist, and aside from a few songs on her newest album that can’t (in my mind) be distinguished as anything other than Odes to Swizzy, I for the most part still enjoy her catalog. Furthermore, regardless of my stance or opinion on her personal life, I don’t dislike Keys and I certainly have never wished any malice toward her.  Still, with the concept of karma floating around in the universe (which ironically, is something she’s sung in great detail about) one has to wonder when this broad is going to stop tempting fate?  Case and point: The Prince Tribute.  Now, if His Highness’ face didn’t tell it all, Alicia’s piano antics were an accident waiting to happen.  Piano Scaling is wrought with danger anyway, especially if the Baby Grand is polished to perfection or attention to detail isn’t paid, but for a woman in the family way…that’s the kind of trouble that has given birth to liability wavers.

 If I were in Alicia’s camp, the first thing I’d be doing is reassuring her that she doesn’t need to win over the haters with theatrics (The second thing would be to suggest firing her stylist for setting out the stumblettos for her to perform in)!  Girl, keep tickling that ivory, remain sedentary, and stop acting like you don’t have a bun in the oven.  Most of your fans gravitated to you for your voice anyway, not your dance moves!   I can certainly understand that you are probably thinking WWBD (because we all can TOTALLY see Beyonce still popping, locking and dropping it in a womanly onesie well into her 2nd trimester) but you have to put your child ahead of your career my darling!  The last thing anyone wants to see (save Mashonda) is anything more than your pride being injured because you insist on peep-toeing the line.

Besides, the spring and summer collection of Giuseppe Zanotti flats are to die for.  Grab a variety of those bad boys, and no one will be able to tell you anything about a cute shoe.  Or better yet, bedazzle rhinestones to that piano bench of yours and PARK IT for the sake of your babe and my nerves.  Who said you had to be twerking to get attention?


Is A. Keys doing too much, or just “doing her”?  Should she amend her performances due to her pregnancy or should she be more concerned with giving her fans their money’s worth via the total production; baby bump and all?  Over the years, what made Alicia step from behind the piano, when clearly that was what differentiated her from other female R&B/Pop Musicians in the first place?

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