And The Oscar Goes To…

It’s that time of year again…you know, when all of the inhabitants of Hollywood get dolled up to be told how fabulous (or not so) that they look, when entertainment critics make their case for who was the most prolific actor of the year and what movie grossed the most money left the most lasting artistic impression on their psyches and of course when companies and retailers justify an entire day delegated to giving away thousands of dollars of merchandise to folks who can clearly afford to purchase it themselves (aka the much desired SWAG bags).  Yes friends, it’s time once again to pay homage to the folks who make spending $9.50 for two hours of escape from reality seem like an investment in our mental health maintenance.

Now, while Oscar and I amicably parted ways after Ms. Berry’s (suspect) honor for best butt-nakedness in a big screen production back in 2001, that is no reason for you not to enjoy the festivities tomorrow night.  It seems that The Academy continues to venture further into the 21st Century with their efforts to embrace films, directors and artists who represent a world bigger than the confines of Hollywood, and the realm of movies and film are better for it.

So I pose the question to you Pack Readers, what movie do you think has made a big enough impact over the past year to be awarded with the coveted Best Picture honor?  I’m pulling for Lee Daniels and company but realistically, any of the nominees would be deserving of the win.  So what do you think?  While I won’t be watching, I will definitely compare you alls votes to the Award Show recap in Monday morning’s paper.

MJ’s Kids in Danger? Sh’mon Now!

This “news” story was so incredibly sensationalized that I had to weigh in on it, if only to make sense of it all in my own mind.  All day yesterday, gossip sites, online (so-called) news magazines and bloggers far and wide were all chomping at the bit about reports from “reliable sources” that there was contention amongst the Jackson cousins; so much so that it led to an attempted taser attack on the late King of Pop’s youngest child, Prince Michael II aka Blanket.

Some sites proposed that Jermaine’s children were “jealous” of the newest arrivals at the Jackson Compound; arrivals who have been monopolizing much of Grandma Katherine’s attention while she’s been assisting them back to a sense of normalcy after their father’s recent passing.  Other outlets were saying that in a page from the “kids will be kids” file, one of the Jackson cousins got his mischievous little hands on a taser gun, only to have it confiscated by family security.  Yet, even more sites were promoting the tale that not only had one of the cousins ordered a taser gun online, but had actually pointed it at Blanket and was stopped short of firing the device by security personnel.

Good grief!  That’s more adolescent drama than an after-school special!  But I do have to pose the question since all these gossip-mongers put it out there…what really did happen?

According to statements from Jackson Family attorney Adam Streisand, Michael’s children were never exposed to the weapon.  He explained that Jermaine Jackson’s 13 year old son Jafar did in fact order the taser online and opened the package in his bathroom, where he tested the device out on a piece of paper.  Once Katherine and security guards heard the sound of the taser gun being used somewhere within the house, it was immediately confiscated.  He added that neither Blanket nor Paris Jackson saw or heard the taser gun but that Prince had seen it in the possession of security guards.

Sounds simple enough…although one has to wonder how a 13 year old is able to successfully order and retrieve a taser gun from online (I’m guessing the benefits of a charmed life plus a bit of laxity in parental supervision, eh?). 

So where is the smoking (stun) gun here?  How does a child testing his boundaries and a couple of adults not overseeing the kids the way they should equate to envious and covetous cousins?  Granted, taser guns can be dangerous, and especially so in the hands of a child, but for the media to spin this tale to imply that MJ’s children were somehow being targeted by their own family is ludicrous.  And here’s the other “gotcha” that I couldn’t quite wrap my head around.  Why did almost all of the news coverage about this issue revolve solely around the safety of Paris, Prince and Blanket?  Aren’t their other children living in the home?  And if there was a 13 year old pointing a taser gun all willy-nilly, would not their lives be at risk as well?  Sorry folks, this is a red herring if ever there was one!

If anything, with young Jafar (and shame on Jermaine, the kid never had a chance) so easily able to gain access to the taser, Joe Jackson should have doled out a tail-whoopin’ good and proper to both father and son for being reckless and making the family look (even more) unstable.  Had Papa Joe been more concerned with being the disciplinarian of his household instead of 1) chasing around some young tail and 2) regularly petitioning the attorney’s of Michael’s estate to “up” his monthly allowance, surely none of this would have happened! 

I swear, folks sure are making it hard for MJ to rest in PEACE!

Friday Night Olympics & This Awesome BBP App!

No, my bedroom wasn’t fire bombed, that’s the Olympic Flame, courtesy of my Blackberry’s itsy bitsy pixeled camera. And, before you ask: Blogging By Phone.

So, seeing as how I am enjoying the dizzying effects of men’s Short Track Speed Skating, the roulette-ish danger of Bobsledding and the death-wish thrills of Alpine Downhill Skiing (all from the comfort of my own home thank you kindly), I figured that instead of not blogging all together, I’d try out this app and see if it really does allow me to post a piece from my phone.

How does it look? Should I just stick to my daily rantings via my desktop or laptop? Or is it seamless enough that I can blog now from anywhere??? Which would be excellent, because I’ve always wanted to on-the-spot rant in Walmart about that horrible cashier/bagger that ALWAYS puts my eggs in with the three pound bag of apples. ALWAYS!

Anyway, no more stalling, I’m about to press “Publish”. I won’t be able to see the full results until morning, so here’s hoping!

A Double-Minded Soft Drink Company Is Unstable In All Of Its Ways…

Book of Beverages Chapter: 1, Verse: 8

For those with National Pan-Hellenic Council ties or for those who simply enjoy exciting little rarities in popular culture, last weekend’s National Sprite Step-Off in Atlanta, GA had all the components of a competition truly laced in shock and awe.

Almost a week later, after thousands had watched the University of Arkansas’ Zeta Tau Alpha sorority’s show-stopping first place finish, word from the competition’s sponsor (Coca-Cola Company, parent company of Sprite) must have seemed more like a plot right out of the next big Bring It On (and on and on) slash Stomp The Yard (even HARDER) movie hybrid, than the new results of a legitimate contest.

Zeta Tau Alpha Sorority learned with the rest of the world that after discovering a scoring discrepancy in the sorority stepping results, competition officials at Sprite determined that the Tau chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. from Indiana University (who placed 2nd at the event) would be named as ­co-winner and be awarded an identical $100,000 prize to the one that the ladies of ZTA earned as a result of their original competition win.

Okay, a few things to note here:

1. ZTA just happens to be a white sorority; a white sorority that performed well in the type of competition with a strong, traditionally black heritage.

2. Sprite’s recognition of this so-called “discrepancy” came only after a few competition attendees alleged that the judges were more surprised and impressed that a white sorority could actually “step” rather than judging fairly the sororities that were already presumed able to step.

So…I’ve got to know what someone else thinks.  View the women of ZTA and the ladies AKA’s.  Regardless of whom you think should have won the women’s portion of the Sprite Step-off Competition, what of Sprite/Coke’s whole “do-over” stance?  Were they so afraid of the a potential beverage boycott at the next Johnson’s or Jenkins’ or Smith’s Family Reunion that they thought it better to say “my bad” now than see the corresponding results in their 3rd Quarter Sales? Oh, and what was that little discrepancy that caused this entire hubbub anyway?

Carbonation-deprived minds want to know.

  

Why Vetting Your Spokesperson Is So Important!

Funny what you stumble upon while channel surf during prime infomercial hours…

 Priding myself in having taken year upon year of formal and conversational Spanish only to come away with a working knowledge of Central Florida’s finest “Spanglish,” I’d considered for the longest time, revisiting my foreign language studies outside of the classroom atmosphere.  Having seen ads for Rosetta Stone on numerous occasions and having spoken to a few people who’ve sworn by it as a foreign language learning tool for their jobs, I figured that perhaps I would go ahead and buy it, having nothing to lose, other than a few hours a night before my Español was once again muy bueno.

 Well wouldn’t you know it…no sooner than I grabbed my cordless phone (after stumbling upon yet another Rosetta Stone Commercial while watching Seconds Before Disaster on National Geographic…*don’t judge me*) totally preparing to dial the 800 number, did I see a dowdy-looking but still recognizable VH1 alum endorsing this educational product!

 In fairness, with only a few seconds to observe her “genuine” testimonial, I couldn’t be sure with all certainty that the bubbly woman touting her new found foreign language confidence was the same “Flavor of Love” turned “Charm School” turned “I Love Money” Leilene Smiley who wept and whined and yelled and grinded her way to Reality TV fame, but even Stevie Wonder could see that this boastfully bilingual chick was a dead ringer for the celeb-reality train wreck!

 Now if it was Leilene debuting as a functional member of society in this commercial, let me be the first to say that I am not mad at her hustler; even a woman who used to “make it clap” for a living should have aspirations of more wholesome exposure in her life, but I must say, the idea of her as a spokesperson for such a “premiere” product has me looking at Rosetta Stone with the ultimate side-eye.  I mean really, doesn’t anyone vet anymore (well, let me not ask that question, as there is a rouge Alaskan now roaming freely around the continental 48)?  But seriously, this company wants roughly $500 of my hard earned cash, yet they try to deceive me with a scandalous spokeswoman?

 Man please, this failure to background check has cost you a customer Rosetta Stone marketers!  I will gladly just see Señor Juan on Saturday mornings at the Y, thank you very much.

 Check out the video.  Am I tripping or is this in fact Leilene faking us out like she’s all normal and well adjusted?

This Is What It Sounds Like, When Home Wreckers Cry!

I couldn’t even get over 72 hours of food poisoning (hence my lack of blogging over the course of the past few days) before I was once again sick to my stomach.  Fortunately, this nausea was not at the hands of some raucous Moo Goo Gui Pan; it did however leave a similar putrid aftertaste in my mouth thanks to an equally gross weepy adult entertainment professional.

 Although I spent half of my weekend ardently asking Jesus why he had forsaken me and the other half laid prostrate before the porcelain prince that is Kohler, I was still able to catch my favorite jungle cat’s international apology for his multiple sexcapades, marital transgressions and the idiotic and illogical belief that the “rules [simply] did not apply to him” while I munched on some tummy settling Saltines to rectify my food poisoning turned bubble guts (oh c’mon, we’re all family here right?).

 Too bad my “I-couldn’t-care-less, you-don’t-owe-ME-an-apology, save-that-solemn-face-for-Elin” attitude was not the global consensus once Tiger Woods’ “I’ll vaguely talk about what I did, just don’t ask me any questions about it” masterpiece statement was complete.  Oh no! In fact, there were those who thought that El Tigre’s “apology” was severely lacking, and should have encompassed not only more specifics, but their names as well.

 Before the Contrite One could finish his statement with a slightly audible “thank you” in closing and a brief search for his mother for an obviously necessary hug (striking a rather impressive standing fetal position in the process), Attorney Gloria Allred was on another frequency raining down fire and brimstone on Woods, and solidifying the kind of 15 minutes of legal fame that would have made the zoot-suited Johnny Cochran whistle in amazement.

 Representing Veronica Siwik-Daniels aka Joslyn James aka one of Tiger’s red-headed-step-children jump off’s, Allred tore into the golf star for wanting to make amends for his behavior, yet not taking the time to apologize to Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off by name.  She continued her tirade by highlighting that Woods and Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off had been in a three year relationship and read some rather racy texts messages from Tiger to prove it.  The best part of Allred’s legal diatribe though, (yes, it gets better) came when she clung to the hand of the crying Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off as she described how because of Tiger’s jealous nature, Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off had to give up her occupation and sole source of income as a “professional lady” of the adult variety.

 A blubbering Veronica/Joslyn/Jump-off then came to the mic explaining how she’d be agreeable to a telephone apology from Woods, how she had a lot to deal with because of him, how it didn’t have to come to this and that while she never meant to cause his wife and kids pain, she couldn’t help falling in love with him.

 Yeah…

 So, I would cross examine both these loons, but why bother?  I will not waste my time and even validate the demands of a delusional attorney and her clearly schizophrenic client, as I would much rather discuss biological warfare with Prince Kohler than give any credence to the imagined plight of this woman!

Somebody Pass Shani The White Sox Fitted Cap!!!

I almost got swung-on by my delirious honey (who was KNOCKED OUT asleep) as I cheered and screamed my congratulatory elation, but it was well worth it for the chance to witness Winter Olympic and Black History in the making.

The Pack would like to applaud Shani Davis on his 1,000 meter Speed Skating gold medal win this evening in Vancouver.  With this victory, Shani defended the title he won at the 2006 Olympics in Turin, and became the first man to win two consecutive Olympic 1,000 meter titles.

His time of one minute 8.94 seconds helped the United States to reclaim the gold medal lead (four).  Incidentally, with a “Hi (former) Hater” shout out to Chad Hedrick, who placed third in the 1,000 meters, he and Davis worked to give the USA the total medal count lead thus far in the games (12).

The Pack looks forward to continued greatness for Shani Davis on Saturday in his 1,500 meter race, and wishes the rest of the Team USA well!

~Tiff

Andrew Young Ring Leads the Edwards Quadrangle

Whoever coined the phrase “there is no honor amongst thieves” clearly had an intimate relationship with the politicians of his day…or foresaw the relational meltdown between John Edwards and Andrew Young.

Now that the former North Carolina Senator and presidential candidate has no chance to ever again become a senator or the president of the United States after his disreputable affair with campaign photographer Rielle Hunter and the revelation of his illegitimate daughter (or the Pappy-Gate Scandal, as I so fondly refer to it), it seems that Edwards’ Tobacco Road clout is no longer what it once was (and may have been all smoke and mirrors in the first place).  I mean, anytime your jump off-slash-baby’s mother (who believed that she was sent [to Earth] to serve Edwards) goes from revering your very existence to hinting (snitching) to the tabloids that she was your mistress, or your Right-Hand-Do-Boy is shopping the intimate details of your life as Senator Sex Machine to the highest bidder, it may be time for you to pull a Saddam Hussein and find a hole to hide out in.

To his credit, John Edwards has been missing in action as of late, undoubtedly awaiting the day that his name stops tasting so bitter in people’s mouths, but that doesn’t mean that his overly dramatic life has gone AWOL, and he has his former flunky aide to thank for that.  With no prospects of becoming a presidential cabinet member thanks to Edwards’ fatally flawed presidential bid, no immediate job to speak of and only illusions of grandeur to keep him warm at night, Andrew Young decided to take his fate (and the Edwards’) into his own hands.  Having rode shotgun throughout the Edwards Campaign and Freakfest, Young felt it necessary to speak out about his former boss’s skeletons and other duplicitous behaviors, you know, because that was the right thing to do *snark*.  Now, I will go on record and say that I think that Andrew Young is one indecorous individual for helping the senator to deceive his wife and the American people only to come back with a tell-all book in true sour grapes fashion now that there are no longer any promises of the high life at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  That being said, I can only image what tawdriness abounds in his recently penned work “The Politician.”

I had an opportunity to see an interview in which both Andrew Young and his wife Cheri discussed in great detail their reasons for wanting to tell the story of behind-the-scenes life with John Edwards and the burden they shared in having to keep such a huge and scandalous secret. 

The Youngs revealed that Edwards had had affairs prior to his relationship with Rielle Hunter, and that his wife Elizabeth had long accepted his shenanigans as a small price to pay for the ultimate goal of the White House.  When it became evident that Hunter was pregnant with Edward’s baby and could possibly derail his White House bid though, the Youngs said that Edwards approached Andrew about claiming that it was he and Hunter who were having the affair and that he was in fact the father of her unborn baby.

The kick in the head is that they went along with it; The Youngs actually picked-up, left their kids with family in Indiana and went on the lam with the pregnant mistress like some political fugitives (I wonder if that was all spelled out in Young’s job description?).  The interview continued with Cheri saying that John had come to her and her husband in all his trial lawyer glory prior to their departure and began persuading them that the presidency was basically in their hands.  She shared that with “the boys over in Iraq and Elizabeth dying”, he spun it that it was up to them to keep up the charade in hopes that their lie would help propel him to the presidency.

Now I’m sure that Edwards was a pretty “bout it” lawyer and I don’t doubt that once he worked his Mojo on the Youngs, they were like putty in his hands.  My thing is this; these two were just as deeply entrenched in this mess as Edwards.  I can’t believe they are trying to sell the public on their “come to consciousness” and need for “absolution” as reasoning for writing this “all-up-in-Edwards’-business” book.  It would be better for them to just be honest about their motives and keep it moving.  I would have respected the Youngs much more had they simply stated that old John had promised them the moon and stars, but after he got caught with his pants down (isn’t it a shame how literal these sayings are becoming when talking about politicians lately?), he left them all high and dry.  But no!  These two pariahs had to go out on the stump professing rightness, vindication and rehabilitating their good name. Get thee behind me Satan with that mess! 

They might not be guilty of the deed, but they are just as culpable for co-signing on the plan.  So now, instead of looking like used and discarded victims, they come off looking like vengeful hypocrites.  This doesn’t mean however that the book won’t do amazingly well; we all know how the masses froth at the mouth over political scandal with a side of smut. All I’m saying is that at the end of the day, it would be nice for the Youngs to not try to play the American people and simply admit that all they are looking for from this exposé are the dollar-dollar-bills-yall.  Ironically enough, with “The Politician” sitting at #2 on Barnes & Nobles Best Seller List, it looks like those dollar bills will soon be attainable.  I just wonder though, how Andrew and Cheri can sleep at night, having aired somebody else’s bed linen for financial gain. 

Save Money, Feed In-Laws

My house is bursting at the seams with the in-laws at present, so I’ve had to commit the majority of my evening to hostessing and other “pleasantries” as opposed to nurturing my loving and loyal readers with an insightful blog post tonight.

 I will tell you though, as hectic as my day has been, I was totally rescued by my shopping nemesis today.  It was a bit unexpected to have a house FULL, but Wal-mart came through in a pinch with all my one-stop shopping needs, and I didn’t even end up standing behind the old lady paying for a $27.15 purchase with case quarters this time!

 So in honor of the shop-for-less giant who fed a house of 12 for about $25.00, please enjoy their recent “Save Money, Live Better” commercial.  It gave me the giggles x’s 10!

Palin’s Palm Pilot!

Either my 106,712th favorite Alaskan has delved into the world of the occult and can now read palms, or this quirky pol-cebrity needs some Gingko Biloba for her memory.  It seems as though Sarah Palin went to the Tea Party Convention this weekend with speech in hand…literally.  A very vocal critic of President Obama and his eloquence solely by way of teleprompter (she says), Miss Sarah decided to forgo technology all together and instead present her core values from…well, her hand.

 In fairness to Mrs. Palin, her assessment of the current state of the country and it’s ripeness for a revolution as well as her critique of Barry’s “hope-y, change-y stuff” were all talking points from her own aberrant mind, but it seems that her Q&A responses were jotted down in the cradle of her hand for safe keeping, you know…in case she forgot what her own political platform was.

 It’s a funny thing (alas, not Palin’s Cliffs Notes; those are just sad), but my mentor and I had a long conversation last week about the Democratic Party not truly having their finger on the pulse of America like he and I would have expected at this political juncture.  We discussed at length how the Republicans and even factions of the Tea Party Movement (inaccuracies, fear tactics and all) have been reaching Americans on an emotional and almost primal level. The fear mongering and half-truths that we have been witnessing as of late (death panels anyone?) has lead to a somewhat irrational need for self preservation from the far right, and although we both admit that the tactic is a deplorable one, we are in agreement that credit has to be given to whoever the conservative strategist is who keeps the sheep fed from the right hand as he or she steers and maneuvers behind the scenes with the left.

 The idea that so many Americans continue to be led awry and can’t see the political forest for the trees has really had me frustrated with today’s politics.  The fact that people were taking everything they hear as truth and are being willingly blinded by change and race and the spirit of social awareness is so disheartening to me.  It all had me so certain for the longest time that this mysterious conservative strategist was even responsible for keeping the Palinator oxymoronically relevant even as irrelevant foolishness cascaded from her mouth each time she opened it.  But after witnessing the beauty-queen-turned-weather-girl-turned-politician-turned-orator Bic ® up her hand in an effort to give the Tea Partiers unrehearsed and authentic perspective, I am now convinced that perhaps the Dems actually have an operative who’s infiltrated the other side and is working to dismantle the machine from within.

Energy? Tax? Lift American Spirits? Check! Budget cuts? No. Nix Budget.

 I mean, who else would have told Governor Palin that writing answers on her hand like a 8th grader preparing to recite the Gettysburg Address in Civics Class was a good idea!?  And the fact that these gems were caught on film for all posterity only enhance my abiding love in the ever changing, never boring arena of American politics.

 So, to answer your question Sarah P., that hope-y, change-y stuff (that you are unwittingly contributing to) is working for me quite nicely, thank you.