Someone Needs An Intervention

I just realized that several posts this week have had to do with my “extra” (as in dramatic, not additional) family.  What’s funny is, this family theme was not even intentional, but because everyone in my house has been in rare form this week (with the exception of me… of course) my blog posts have kind of turned into a narrative For Colored Bloggers Who Have Considered Family Abandonment When Their Foolishness was More Than Enough.  Still, what is it they say about it not needing to be fixed if it isn’t broken?  With that said, let’s take yet another trip to La Casa Del Pack.

So, my honey and I were watching television last night when a Wisk commercial came on…

Okay, wait.  In order for you to be able to follow the foolery, let me pause for a moment so that we can put this tale into the proper context.

Last school year, through some really unfortunate events and utterly gauche cowardice, the football team that my honey coached for let their Head Coach go.  This became very problematic for my honey because although he was invited to stay on with the new coaching staff, he felt a sense of loyalty to the sacked (pun intended) head coach.  This was mainly because the two were (are) great friends and he had brought my honey from their previous school (where they both used to worked together) to be a part of his coaching staff.  Taking all of this into account, my honey felt incredibly conflicted staying on as the team’s offensive coordinator.  So, after an off-season to think about it, my honey decided that he was going to focus on more one-on-one homework time with our children after-school (which he is well qualified to do, being a teacher and all) and making preparations to go back to school for administration instead of coaching this season.

Well, while he’s been incredibly proactive with our kids’ education, this man has been missing coaching like Bobby misses Whitney’s crack drug stash.  But in fairness, the players and coaches miss him just as much.  For the past four Friday’s, he’s been a spectator under the Friday Night Lights, but after the games, everybody is chatting him up like he’s still on staff. 

Okay, caught up? Now let’s proceed.

So the honey and I were watching some forgettable network season premiere last night, when a Wisk commercial came on.  As the advertisement began touting Wisk’s new Stain Spectrum Technology, the images coming through our television screen were of a group of tiny tots participating in what looked like a pee wee football game.  In the act of getting his pristine uniform muddied and grass stained, a little running back powered through the defensive line to score a touchdown.  In what can only be described as a totally out of the blue, possessed Dennis Green voice (think: “they are who we thought they were” raging lunatic Dennis Green), my honey retorts:

“WHY IN THE HECK DIDN’T SOMEONE FILL THE A-GAP?!?!?!?!”

Uh…

The fact that he was berating some 5 year olds…playing pee wee football…in a commercial, greatly concerns me.  Don’t get me wrong, I thought his random outburst was hilarious, but I DO think my honey needs a football intervention.  Now, I truly understand that he misses coaching, watching film and developing his young boys into men on and off the field, but there is still far too much of the football season left to be worrying about whether or not he is going to be stalking local youth football leagues and calling plays from the stands. 

Poor thing.