Babychild Chronicles: So Mom, How Do I Look?

24 Sep

At the risk of incriminating myself as a mildly negligent parent, here is another tale of when The Babychild gets out of my sight for more than two minutes.

As is usually my Saturday ritual, I found myself hauling in and putting away the groceries after an arduous couple of hours at the market.  While sorting my perishables, cans, boxes and spices, I was making some pretty good headway until my honey came into the kitchen with a smirk on his face, holding The Babychild’s hand.  Confused, I looked at him, awaiting an explanation.

“Look at his face,” he snorted.

Finally seeing the nicks, scratches and scrapes, I gasped and asked what in the world had happened to my child.

“I caught him in the bathroom shaving, Tiff!” my honey replied incredulously.

Examining his face more closely, sure enough he looked as though he’d gone 5 rounds with a Bic® and lost.  Of course, The Babychild’s initial concern was not where I’d place the Band-Aids, but instead if he was going to get a spanking or not.  After clarifying to him that three “owies” above his upper lip were punishment enough, he seemed to relax a bit.  Still, I had to know what would possess him to not only mutilate his cherub face so, but how in the world he even got access to a razor in the first place.

“Mom, I climbed on dad’s sink to get the shaver for my beard.”

Letting his dad explain to him that shaving was only for adults and going into our room and climbing on our bathroom vanity again would result in a butt-whooping, The Babychild seemed to finally grasp the reality of his situation.

“Oh no! Mom-ma, do you think my friends at school will laugh when they see my face?”

Toddler Vanity.

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