Service With A Smile…Derek Anderson Style

1 Dec

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It seems that poor Arizona Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson let the media get the best of him yesterday as he was called out for his seemingly humored countenance during the Cardinals’ Monday Night Football walloping by The San Francisco 49ers (whew, way to keep your job for another week Coach Singletary).  Hopefully though, my open letter to the fuming QB will help him to relax, relate and release in time for next week’s contest against the St. Louis Rams:

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Dear Derek Anderson,

Dang homie, in high school you was the man homie; what happened to you!?  Look dude, clearly you need some tough love, so here it is:

You make MILLIONS of dollars to play a game that you love, work hard at and study your *beep* off to master. Who cares if you were seen smiling during one of the most embarrassing Monday Night performances since…well, two Mondays ago (for which I still hang my Redskin-supporting-head in shame)?!?!? Look buddy, sometimes a man has to smile in a tough situation just to keep from crying, it’s as simple as that (please feel free to use that idiom the next time your mirthy disposition is questioned)!

Now granted, the reporter that made it his business to play mock Spanish Inquisition with you at your Monday evening press conference was indeed a tool, but thanks to your viral meltdown (which admittedly wasn’t as bad as some others that I’ve seen over the years…a weepy T.O. immediately comes to mind…) you and your Xanax-required Spazz Fest have effectively ousted Stevie Johnson and his God Blaming as the most nonsensical NFL behavior of the week.

So, from one gridiron girl to another who loves everything about this game to a quarterback who puts his heart and soul into this (football) *expletive*, please take a few moments from your playbook studying to view the above snippet highlighting how the Cheshire Cat of the NBA handles critics when they insist that he is not a serious professional athlete because of his affinity for displaying the pearly whites.

Perhaps you will take a page from his book and make your haters your motivators…while mellowing ALL the way out in the process.

Warmest Regards (and Well Wishes for an Improved Quarterback Rating),

~Tiff

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