“I Keep On Fallin’…”

6 Jul

Heading in to work today, it was all I could do not to lose my sanity amidst all the Essence Music Festival reviews and discussions.  Don’t they have that shindig every year?  I scoffed to myself (admittedly the musings of the caffeine deprived hater in me who hasn’t yet been able to overcome the scheduling conflicts that would enable me to successfully book a trip to New Orleans) and if you’ve been to one Festival, you’ve been to them all, I continued exasperatedly (again, this killjoy spirit was brought to you courtesy of the realization that I’d most certainly missed out on some great music, excellent chicory coffee and authentic beignets again this year)!

But before the celebratory recapitulation could totally ruin my morning, I was ushered to a music blog site which highlighted a few performances from Festival Weekend.  It was only then that the overzealous Essence banter began to make sense.  On this site I saw the now infamous clip of Alicia Keys’ back-peddling sashay and subsequent half-back-somersault stumble on stage, which caused me to gasp in horror (the exhale didn’t come until I saw that she was able to get up under her own power and SADDOWN at the piano…where as a precaution, she should’ve been from the start).

Now in my past sanctimoniousness, I’ve undeniably given Alicia and Kaseem a hard time, but the reality is that I’ve never stopped liking her as an artist, and aside from a few songs on her newest album that can’t (in my mind) be distinguished as anything other than Odes to Swizzy, I for the most part still enjoy her catalog. Furthermore, regardless of my stance or opinion on her personal life, I don’t dislike Keys and I certainly have never wished any malice toward her.  Still, with the concept of karma floating around in the universe (which ironically, is something she’s sung in great detail about) one has to wonder when this broad is going to stop tempting fate?  Case and point: The Prince Tribute.  Now, if His Highness’ face didn’t tell it all, Alicia’s piano antics were an accident waiting to happen.  Piano Scaling is wrought with danger anyway, especially if the Baby Grand is polished to perfection or attention to detail isn’t paid, but for a woman in the family way…that’s the kind of trouble that has given birth to liability wavers.

 If I were in Alicia’s camp, the first thing I’d be doing is reassuring her that she doesn’t need to win over the haters with theatrics (The second thing would be to suggest firing her stylist for setting out the stumblettos for her to perform in)!  Girl, keep tickling that ivory, remain sedentary, and stop acting like you don’t have a bun in the oven.  Most of your fans gravitated to you for your voice anyway, not your dance moves!   I can certainly understand that you are probably thinking WWBD (because we all can TOTALLY see Beyonce still popping, locking and dropping it in a womanly onesie well into her 2nd trimester) but you have to put your child ahead of your career my darling!  The last thing anyone wants to see (save Mashonda) is anything more than your pride being injured because you insist on peep-toeing the line.

Besides, the spring and summer collection of Giuseppe Zanotti flats are to die for.  Grab a variety of those bad boys, and no one will be able to tell you anything about a cute shoe.  Or better yet, bedazzle rhinestones to that piano bench of yours and PARK IT for the sake of your babe and my nerves.  Who said you had to be twerking to get attention?


Is A. Keys doing too much, or just “doing her”?  Should she amend her performances due to her pregnancy or should she be more concerned with giving her fans their money’s worth via the total production; baby bump and all?  Over the years, what made Alicia step from behind the piano, when clearly that was what differentiated her from other female R&B/Pop Musicians in the first place?

Vodpod videos no longer available.


2 Responses to ““I Keep On Fallin’…””


  1. “I Keep On Fallin’…” - July 8, 2010

    […] clearly that was what differentiated her from other female R&B/Pop Musicians in the first place?[ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE]Tagged as: Alicia Keyes, Essence Music Festival, Pop, Pregnant, R&B, Stumble, Theatrics Article […]

  2. Tweets that mention “I Keep On Fallin’…” « Tiffany's Fanny Pack -- Topsy.com - July 6, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by The Fanny Pack, The Fanny Pack. The Fanny Pack said: "I Keep On Fallin'…": http://wp.me/pDaae-q8 […]

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