Archive | December, 2009

What Those Christmas Party Smiles are REALLY saying!

23 Dec

Barack:   Michelle, I promise I am gonna go to jail for choking Nelson out if he makes one more change to the Health Care Reform Bill!

 

Michelle:  Honey, two more days and you won’t have to think about Senator Nelson until January!

 

Barack:  Look at him over there. Has the nerve to be difficult and over there drinking up all my good champagne. ‘Chelle, that’s the Pernod-Ricard Perrier-Jouet!

 

Michelle:  Chef can find another bottle.  Just keep smiling Honey, the party is almost over!

 

I’m Packing Up,

~Tiff

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This Is What Happens When CrackBerry Gets High On Its Own Supply!

23 Dec

If you are like me, then you use your cell phone, namely your BlackBerry for EVERYTHING! I tell people all the time that I don’t know how I functioned before I had a BlackBerry, and I certainly don’t know how I survived all those years before the societal norms of having a cell phone set in (although I did have some minor holdings in carrier pigeons).  Well, now that I’ve revealed my fatal flaw, I might as well tell you that I found myself rocking back and forth in a corner all evening (and even now) as I try to function without my beloved Smartphone (aka my missing appendage).

 

Service outages for BlackBerry customers across North America (and across various wireless carriers too) have placed business negotiations on hold, suspended Facebook updates and temporarily halted Twitter Tweets for much of Tuesday and into Wednesday morning.  BlackBerry maker, Research In Motion is reporting that some BlackBerry customers in the Americas are experiencing message delivery delays.  I am going to stop them right there and do a quick Truth Check:  All those BlackBerry owners and users who’ve experienced totally Data Package inoperability (no internet, BlackBerry Messenger, email access, or third-party applications) please raise your hands… 

 

Um, yeah RIM, it’s not just me up on my soap box, and it’s more than just a delay or two *cough* liars.

 

All I know is, I’ve written enough consumer complaint letters over the years (and am on a first name basis with about three managing executives at the Better Business Bureau) so please believe me when I tell you that I have a firm mastery of grievance construction.  My hope however is that all that can be avoided, and RIM will simply and contritely extend the olive branch (i.e. reimburse me for the last 11+ hours I spent unable to fully utilize my Blackberry, or at the very least allow for me to have one on-the-house application…hey, they don’t call it crackberry for nothing).

 

Knowing the corporate juggernaut though, a generic “I’m sorry” on their website or from their spokesperson is all we will probably get for our time.  And that’s a shame too, because I am guessing that negative word of mouth times 20 million North American subscribers will totally hose their 2010 First Quarter projections. I’m just saying…

 

 I’m Packing Up,

~Tiff

When 9-1-1 Isn’t A Joke, EMT Workers Are

22 Dec

Is anyone as tired of hearing about death as I am lately?  Don’t get me wrong, it is always painful to lose or to learn of loss, but it can be especially tragic and heart wrenching when that loss occurs around the holidays.  The only reason I am even dwelling on it today is because this story out of New York is just SO implausible that I can’t help but to wonder if having such a cold heart will garner a non-stop, first class ticket to THE hot place!?

 

Although the events of December 9th are still being sorted out, one thing is certain; a woman collapsed in a New York coffee shop and later died while two EMT workers sat in that same establishment, preferring instead to finish their breakfast than to assist her.  The woman, Eutisha Rennix, who was six months pregnant and worked at the shop collapsed in the restroom during her shift.  When several employees and patrons sought help and came upon the EMTs, it is alleged that the horrified onlookers were told to call 9-1-1 because (get this) the two were on their break. Yeah, we all know that New York is the city of hard luck and even harder knocks, but those statistics ought not negate ones responsibility as a technician to provide immediate medical treatment in the event of an emergency (I mean geez, that much is even spelled out in the job title for crying out loud)!

 

What I find even more inconceivable than these individual’s apparent and indifferent negligence is the fact that although the Uniformed EMTs & Paramedics spokeman Bob Ungar has stated that any activity by their members that can harm the public are never condoned (I would certainly hope not), the workers’ attorneys are requesting that authorities and the public not rush to judgment.  Certainly, in this country everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but in light of the fact that some of the staff and even some of the restaurant diners actually witnessed the two getting their eat-on while a pregnant woman and her unborn child lay dying on a bathroom floor, I am thinking that the last thing out of anyone’s mouth is an implication that there were underlying factors (other than complete disregard for human lives) which led to the EMTs’ inaction in this situation.

 

Let me be clear, I am not New York bashing.  I love (to visit) NYC.  Being a city-kid myself, I love the sights, smells, atmosphere and diversity.  I get it that many agency workers (police, fire & rescue, etc) are over-worked and underpaid and need any break that they can get in order to recoup and function properly.  But doesn’t a life or two lost in your presence (even if not on your watch) kind of defeat the whole purpose of you having trained to be in the life-saving business?

 

I know that New York’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg has denounced the technician’s actions as unconscionable and has himself been working to revamp the city’s infrastructure, political dynamic, and overall image, but until his office identifies the city’s pulse (it’s people) and works toward better communications between that pulse and the city’s many service agencies and departments, he ought not be surprised to see yet another wrongful death lawsuit against the city while on his watch.

 

I’m Packing Up,

~Tiff

Merry Christmas from King James and Black Mamba: Dunking On Reindeer

21 Dec

I became a fan of the MVPs (Most Valuable Puppets) during last year’s NBA Finals when Lil Desmond made his fast talking, allergy having Nike commercial debut, and I’ve been hooked ever since.

 

In an effort to top last season’s commercially marketable and humorous exchanges, the gang is back with a Christmas Rap depicting what happens to Reindeer who disrespect the skills of Santa and his iconic homeboys, LeBron and Kobe.

 

And incidentally, it’s advertising like this that reinforces the fact that I am SO in the wrong line of work!

 

I’m Packing Up,

~Tiff

What I’m Wearing: Not as “Eyes Poppin’, Lips Bussin” as NeNe, But Close!

19 Dec

I consider myself a reasonably fashionable person and as such, I thought it would be interesting to create a category within my blog devoted solely to what I wear…and not necessarily apparel.  While I love blending colors, textures, baubles and accessories; in my line of work I typically opt for more conservative attire (with the exception of a snazzy broach, chunky jewelry or a bedazzled pair of stilettos; ah yes, and on Casual Friday when ALL bets are off).   But just because the workplace calls for a more subtle expression of fashion does not mean that your overall look has to be so reserved.  I applied this very concept as I prepared for work yesterday. 

 

 

A sucker for cosmetics and an excuse to try something new, I roamed Target a few days ago, looking to replace my N.Y.C. Thickening Mascara that had run out weeks ago (which reduced me to putting water in the tube and shaking well in order to get the last few remnants out; a thin line between trifling and resourceful, I know).  Remembering the heavily Rihanna-endorsed Eyelights Mascara, I went to the Covergirl section of the Health & Beauty area to see what all the fuss was about.  After reading the CG backdrop that claimed the mascara would make my eyes four times brighter than my natural bare-lashed state, I figured I would take a chance and give it a try. 

 

 

On the plus side, Eyelights Mascara is waterproof, so not once did it smudge or come off until I was ready for bed and washed my face.  Other than that however, I didn’t notice a whole lot of difference from the other mascara’s that I’ve used in the past.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking Eyelights because since using it, many a co-worker has professed being able to see my lashes from across the room.  I just feel like Covergirl’s boasts of four times brighter eyes didn’t ring all that true for me.  That being said, I do really like the defining brush and the application is pretty seamless so “pop-less” eyes notwithstanding, I’m wearing Covergirl Eyelights in Black Gold.

 

I’m Packing Up,

~Tiff

Products For YOUR Princess

18 Dec

A Magical Beauty Collection, available only at Carol's Daughter online

I Love Carol’s Daughter!  If you have hair on your head (natural/processed) or skin on your body, how could you not love Carol’s Daughter?  The products are designed to enhance and rejuvenate the hair and skin, and the natural (and tantalizing) ingredients oftentimes leave folks debating (well in my house at least) whether they could actually get away with eating them (Almond Cookie Shea Soufflé anyone???). 

 

 

But as of yesterday, I am loving Carol’s Daughter even more (if that is even possible).  On my way home from work last evening, my girlfriend Dionne IM’d me on my Blackberry to let me know that Carol’s Daughter had a new product line-up for the holidays.  A Magical Beauty Collection features none other than Princess Tiana from Disney’s new #1 blockbuster, The Princess & The Frog.  Guys, I couldn’t be more excited about this.  Not only is Tiana (yes, #1. she is real and #2. we are on a first name basis ever since I saw the film last weekend) getting MAJOR exposure outside of the confines of the silver screen, but with her endorsement, this collection of products will go a long way to reinforce to our daughters that they are, and have always been princesses.

 

 

These products, which currently can only be purchased on the Carol’s Daughter website, are great stocking stuffer ideas but are literally flying off the inventory shelves (the “Inner Shine” Conditioner and “Dream Big” Hair Detangler is currently out of stock *boo*).  I totally intend to order the Beauty Gift Set for my 8-year-old, although at this late date I may need to do some creative finagling to ensure I get it before Christmas.

 

 

After months of blogging and commenting on the daily foolishness that seemed to be just dropping in my lap, I am happy to catalog Carol’s Daughter (Lisa Price & company), as a total success!  

 

I’m Packing Up,

~Tiff

Christmas Carols that STINK!

17 Dec

 

On my way to work this morning during a Tom Joyner Morning Show commercial break, I was flipping through the dial and came across this little ditty (in its entirety) playing on a local radio station.  After spitting coffee on my windshield at the absurdity of it all, I had to wonder, who in the WORLD thought it was cute to let their impressionable little one belt out such a crude tune?  Granted, it caught me off guard, so the majority of my wasted coffee was due to a giggle here and there, but seriously?  Kids can be pretty gross without any cajoling from adults.  Can you just imagine how “open season” it would be if this song stays in heavy rotation?  The Christmas Pageants, the holiday assemblies; all ruined (and indubitably a little smelly).

 

All I know is, carolers may want to consider using discernment when approaching my house next week.  Once was MORE than enough for me, so if you come to my door caroling this hot mess, I am liable to throw some eggnog in protest…minus the nog!

 

I’m Packing Up,

~Tiff

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