Playing Daddy in “Wade” County

As many of you who read this blog know, in the past I’ve not minced words or sugar coated my feelings about the whole Dwyane-Siohvaughn-Gabbie debacle, or my concern for the ex-couple’s children, but it seems that this hot mess of a (dysfunctional) family saga has finally come to an end; at least legally.  Last week, the Miami Heat star was awarded permanent physically custody of his two sons, ending an extensive (and exhaustive, I’m sure) legal battle with his ex-wife Siohvaughn Wade.

And while I have also been unapologetically vocal (and admittedly biased) about my feelings as they pertain to how Wade handled his divorce from the wife who bore his children and stood by him before the league, championship rings, flashing lights, actresses and endorsements came a’callin’, I must admit that in light of her multiple and well-documented instances of crazy recently, it definitely may be for the best that he is now legally the primary caregiver for his sons.

I think that we can all agree that in spite of the beds that the adults made for themselves in this situation (and later tumble around in), the best interest of the children should have always been the focal point of the issue.  In her “woman-scorned” vindictiveness over the years however (remember back when Siohvaughn had legal custody of the boys and she would “adjust” Wade’s visitation times on a whim, or not let him in her gate to even pick the children up?), I think Siohvaughn may have lost sight of that fact, and in doing so lost custody of her sons.

But in fairness to D-Wade, one thing he has never faltered on publicly since things went array with The Missus has been his love and continued concern for his boys.  And in light of his Charlie Sheen-esque “winning” this past week (custody of the kids and Eastern Conference Player of The Week…¿en fuego, no?) I sincerely do wish him all the best as he embarks on this (re)newed excursion into daddydom.

Irrelevant Celebrities With Inflated Egos Shouldn’t Throw Insults

Even though I sometimes think it, I’ve been very good in the past few years not to say things like, “what are they doing together” or “why in the world is she with that hobgoblin!?” when it seems that a relationship compatibility imbalance may be afoot between a newly revealed couple that look more like a shopper and a deliveryman than a new girlfriend and boyfriend.  Such was the case last year when I began seeing Christina Milian and The Nightmare Dream gallivanting all over God’s creation.  Whether they were pool side, vaca’ing or meandering hand in hand in the city with shopping bags in tow, no one could deny that the two were an item, albeit the proverbial odd couple.

Their burgeoning romance resulted in what many termed a quickie wedding, followed by news that the newlyweds were expecting.  Although I again was left to scratch my head and wonder how anyone thought this union was a good idea, I ultimately put on my “live and let live” hat and kept it moving.

Well, fast forward to this latest bit of news that The Dream was caught in a compromising position with a woman not his wife, his petition for divorce, and Christina’s allegations that he cheated on her while she was pregnant with their daughter and it would seem that my concerns may not have been so unfounded after all.  But although many like me can sit behind a computer or in the comfort of our own homes and say things like “I knew it” and “I told you so” about the staus of Dreamstina, we have to realize that they both are still real people with real feelings in a really messed up situation. 

Apparently however, radio personality and former DJ Funkmaster Flex didn’t get that memo.  He instead took to The Twitter (for reason’s only God knows) to weigh in on The Dream/Christina situation:

“Christina Milian is finished out here….Dream just wrapped you up.”

Huh?  Are The Dream and Flex friends?  Do they braid each other’s back hair and tell tales of loves lost and jump-offs found?  I mean, why else would he take to such a public forum to deliver two cents from his change purse that no one asked him for? What’s funny is that when Christina discovered Flex’s reckless behavior on twitter and addressed him about it, his tweets began to sound less lion and more lamb:

“I was jokin. I will give you a break. wasn’t personal.  ps i don’t agree with what the dream did. love to your little one.”

The irony in all of this is that he’d classify another musician as “finished” (and not because she is without talent, but because her spouse allegedly cheated).  Um, yeah.  Hey pot, when is the last time you put out an album? Starred in a movie? Modeled anything?  I guess the reality of knowing that “The Tunnel” days are long over and that no one is checking for him anymore made Flex jump at the opportunity to be relevant again; even if his “joking” opinion further relegated him to pariah status.

Shmucks Who Want it All: The Tiki Barber Edition

We all heckled, jeered and threw out the three-fingered Celie curse at Tiki Barber when it was revealed last month that not only was he cheating on his wife of 11 years, who by the way was very (8 months) pregnant with their twin babies at the time, but had brazenly left her for a young, blond, strumpet intern whom he worked alongside as a correspondent for NBC’s “Today Show”.  Many of us even applauded when NBC exhibited the kind of moral backbone not readily observed in the media lately, (okay, okay; I’ll admit that they probably did it in their own best interest) when the television giant sidelined the retired New York Giants running back once allegations of his infidelity arose.  Then, before the ink of the latest gossip columns were dry, women everywhere gave Ginny “Decisive” Barber a standing ovation for cutting to the chase and deciding that she no longer wanted to be married to a philandering oaf who had no qualms with making a mockery of their marriage in a very embarrassing and public way.

You’d think that being ostracized at work, ridiculed in the media and lambasted by the mother of his children would make Tiki take a timeout and reevaluate how his life spiraled out of control, right?  Humph, that would be a resounding no.  While his soon-to-be-ex-wife was the one on a timeout (mandatory bed rest) and sorting through what went wrong with their marriage, good old Tiki was out cavorting around New York with his mistress and making plans to share a new den of iniquity with said paramour.  Clearly, the last thing on his mind was the welfare of his wife and children (both the unborn twins and their two adolescent sons).  Now Tiki defenders, don’t get indignant with me and say that I don’t know what was on his mind…I’ll be the first to admit, I have no clue what goes through the mind of a man who abandons his family for some young tail, but note that I didn’t say he didn’t care about his wife and kids. I simply stated that they were the last things on his mind; a statement that based on his behavior, I believe to be true.

And what further solidifies this notion in my mind is Tiki’s recent refusal to give Ginny the settlement that she asked for in order to move on with her life and to care for their four children sans his help.  Keep in mind that she wasn’t in the papers or on television telling anyone who’d listen how shameless he and his mistress were and how emotionally draining such a public scandal was for her and the children’s physical well-being.  She simply (and quietly) accepted his trifling ways, filed for divorce and decided that his monetary support would have to substitute for his lack of presence in their lives.  But in true I’m-doing-wrong-but-still-want-things-my-way-celebrity-entitlement-fashion, Barber would rather fight his wife-for-now in court over money and custody than acquiesce.  A classy dude, that one.

So is it any wonder that this former family man who all of a sudden up and decided to ditch his familial duties in order to recapture his bachelor-dome would think that he’d be welcome in his wife’s delivery room as she prepared to bring two new lives into the world?  Clearly, the rich, famous and unscrupulous operate by a different set of standards than the rest of us.  Well, Ginny was prepared for Tiki’s foolishness, and had some firm instructions for the football great: Sit It ALL The Way Down!!  According to insiders at the hospital where Mrs. Barber gave birth to the couple’s twin girls earlier this week, Tiki-Lamp showed up to the hospital for the births of his children, but was surreptitiously forced to wait outside of the delivery room.  Ouch.

Now, I know that there are those who believe that Ginny Barber was being hateful; wielding the only power she had over Tiki as a way to get him back for his humiliating indiscretions, but to those people I ask: have you ever actually given birth?  The situation by itself (without the stress of a cheating, absentee husband) is already wrought with unnerving pressure and anxiety.  What woman in her right mind would want such a man present during this strenuous time to frazzle her already delicate nerves further and possibly make things worse? 

In all honesty though, I will submit that Tiki undoubtedly loves all of his children and wanted to be present to usher his daughters into the world, but seriously, he had to know that with his scandalous antics as of late, the furthest that he’d get would be the hospital gift shop!

It is my sincere hope that now, since Ginny has made it quite apparent that she can do bad all by herself, and the Barber babies have arrived safely and without complication, that Mr. and Mrs. Barber will be able to come to suitable terms in their divorce and for the sake of the kids (a common theme in all of these cheating/divorce scandals lately, I know) live amicably ever after.

Bump In The Road

I usually don’t blog twice in one week about the same general topic (in this case, love triangles), but with the recent media maelstrom surrounding Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz, how could I not impart my simple analysis on the matter?  And really, since I’ve already stated (rather comprehensively) my opinion on Alicia and Swizzy’s “boo-dom” in a prior post, there isn’t any reason for me to revisit the whole infidelity/other woman conversation.  Instead, I’d much rather explore the various outcomes that have developed recently as a result of their “togetherness”.

 Firstly, how timely is it that as one hot-mess celebrity divorce gains steam publicly, Kaseem’s (because I simply can’t call a grown man not from Sweden “Swizz”) divorce from his wife Mashonda was finalized just this week!?  Now he and Alicia can step out in public as a couple without as many animated eye-rolls and hisses directed at them as I’m sure they were receiving on a regular basis after revealing to the world that they were an item (note to self: stop hissing at Alicia Keys and Kaseem Dean).  And wouldn’t you know it, Kaseem’s newly single status coincides perfectly with rumors that his side-chick super star girlfriend is expected her first child.

 Normally not one to give credence to “baby bump” rumors, I filed the recent stories of Keys’ pregnancy under “T” for trash, right alongside Rihanna’s Bun, Beyonce’s Multiples and Ashanti’s Bulge.  When picture’s from her Element of Freedom European Tour surfaced however, I couldn’t help but accept that Alicia may have very well gone from side-chick to main-chick to baby’s momma in less time than it took her beau to hightail it out of court and into her arms once his divorce proceedings were concluded.

If it turns out that reports of Keys’ pregnancy are true, what will that mean for the (former) R&B darling’s career and her highly publicized relationship?  Will she decide to come off tour?  Might Kaseem opt to “put a ring on it”?  Will they take an indefinite break from the music industry and play house instead?  Well, before I let my mind run away from me (pronouncing them man and wife and bequeathing to them the house, dog and 2.5 children) let’s remember that it was Alicia’s phenomenal talent, intelligence and creativity that captured our interests…long before her walk on the scandalous side. 

 It seems to me that Keys hasn’t forgotten this fact, and in an effort to divert attention away from her “maybe baby” status, she has gotten even more creative and sultry with her newly released video this week for her hit “Unthinkable.”  Granted, the song’s lyrics sound more like adulterous conspirators giving in to temptation, consequences be damned, but the cerebral artistry of the video tells another story entirely.  With the tune already in heavy rotation on the radio and her corresponding video debuting with great hype on music television shows and internet sites worldwide, A. Keys and the strategic minds over at J Records may have (for a time at least) successfully deflected talk of all things baby away from the songstress.

 Too bad more couldn’t have been done to redirect the home-wrecker gossip that totally dogged Keys for the past year and a half and pretty much tarnished her sultry but classy image.  In comparison to her 2001 Songs in A Minor debut (which sold over 6 million copies), 2003’s Diary of Alicia Keys (4.4 million copies) and As I Am in 2007 (3 million copies), Alicia’s 4^th studio album, The Element of Freedom has only sold a meager 1.2 million copies since its December 2009 release.  More than likely, the decline in her album sales can be attributed directly to the drama surrounding her relationship with Swizz Beatz and the assumption that she broke up his marriage.

 I suppose that in time we will see if Keys is able to bounce back from all of her recent drama, or if in the next few months, we find that she and her man will be bouncing their own little bundle.  Either way, it looks like Alicia Keys has gotten what she wants.  At the end of the day though, I have to wonder if the negative publicity, personal life intrusions and career hiccup were all worth it.

Three’s A Crowd

I’ve been conflicted over the past week or so about whether or not to provide my Lincoln Duo (2 cents) on the whole Wade-Union-Wade fiasco.  Honestly, the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Wade are still very married is not news to anyone anymore.  That Mr. Wade gallivants all over creation with a woman who is not his wife surprise very few people these days.  The realization that after staying around through thin and thinner, Mrs. Wade’s status would be downgraded once her husband became rich, famous and successful now just seems like a page right out of the Athlete’s Almanac.  This messy little love triangle has been going on for a few years now, so why has The Wade’s dis-“Union” (pun intended) been all that anyone seems able to talk about as of late?

 

Personally, I think that when Siohvaughn Wade decided to reveal a little bit of her “crazy” to the world, folks couldn’t help but revisit this slipshod, chocolate-covered Three’s Company affair.  Now let me be clear; to marry, birth children for, and spend a considerable portion of ones life with a man, only to be put out to pasture after he buys the farm and now gets free milk from the other cows justifies a crazy spell or two.  I know that people have been coming to Farmer Wade’s defense lately, explaining that with him and the missus being estranged for so long, there was nothing wrong with his desire to begin a relationship with a new heifer woman.  Hmm, if it pleases the court, to those people I’d like to present a little document called a marriage certificate.  If Old McD.Wade really wanted a fresh start, why would he begin a relationship with a new woman before resolving his old drama?  And if the media reports are accurate, drama it is. 

Although I tend to side with wives thrown by the wayside in instances such as these, Siohvaughn’s claim that her husband and Gabrielle’s relationship caused her kids’ emotional distress, her having filed a Side-Piece Lawsuit against Union, the rumors that she herself had a boy toy on the side that she purchased several vehicles for, claims that she checked into a mental health facility for anger-issues, and her arrest just this week for failure to appear in court for the Wades’ latest divorce hearing really don’t paint Mrs. Wade in the most flattering light, now does it? I realize that she is diary-of-a-mad-black-woman “mad as hell”, that she was down like four flat tires for Dwyane before there was ever a D.Wade the Superstar, and thanks to her husband’s extramarital activities, being in Miami makes her feel like last night’s tossed out arroz con pollo; I get it.  BUT, Siohvaugh owes it to herself, and especially to her children to handle this situation with an extra portion of maturity and grace.  By letting her distress and anger over this failed marriage consume her life, it not only leads to long-term bitterness and trust issues with the next man, but she is fostering an atmosphere where her children may end up ultimately resenting their father, and her.  I think she would do well to acknowledge that in the end, karma will be her vindication.

What’s funny is that if I had the chance, I would give Miss Gabby the same advice (the whole acknowledgement of karma).  While I don’t know the circumstances of the Wades’ impending divorce and Gab’s blossoming relationship with Mr. Married, I do know that husband pilfering certainly places an ugly tinge on the squeaky clean image that she usually tries to perpetuate in Hollywood.  And although I will agree that Mrs. Wade did not “come correct” with the whole girlfriend lawsuit (sue the man you took vows with, not his jump-off), the fact that Gabby would be bold enough to say anything about the situation (even though it was an apology to the judicial system for tying up the courts with the preposterous suit) while personifying the moniker of “Mistress” simply boggles my mind.  Historically, wasn’t the appeal of the extramarital female the fact that she kept quiet?  *Just saying*

Clearly, cheaters and side-chicks have NO SHAME this day and age.

Unfortunately though, aside from the fact that once the divorce is finalized 1) Siohvaughn will likely receive half of D.Wade’s net worth and 2) Wade and Union will no longer be ostracized for not-so-secretly creeping, the children will have to endure the mess that was their parent’s and a third-wheel’s inability to behave like adults and protect their innocence!  What child wants to grow up beneath the shadow of a contentious divorce, a step-parent that momma can’t stand and internet access to your family name having been strewn through the mud?  The adults in this situation owed it to the kids to behave as if their best interest was at the forefront of their minds.  Maybe if that had been the case from jump-street, none of this back door buffoonery would be taking place today.

All three of them should really be ashamed!