Yeah…’Cuz Sorry is for Suckas!

So, in the latest episode of “I Can Do Better Than Obama,” starring the home-schooling, ovary inspecting Republican flavor of the week, presidential candidate Rick Santorum basically called out the POTUS for what he interpreted as being weak when The President apologized to the people of Afghanistan after it was revealed that American soldiers inadvertently burned materials belonging to prisoners at Bagram Air Base, including Qurans.

On NBC’s Meet The Press, Santorum clarified his remarks:

 “I don’t think the president should have apologized for something that was clearly inadvertent, [He should have said] this was inadvertent, this was a mistake. There was no deliberate act. There was no [intention of] disrespect – this is something that occurred that shouldn’t have occurred, but it was an accident.”

So, instead of simply stating “we apologize for accidentally burning your holy books,” Rick Santorum believes that the president should have articulated that sentiment 1) without actually using the words, “sorry” or “apologize” and instead replaced the short and sweet phrase or two with a varying amalgamation of the above 31 words.

Okay…wait.  So, admit to making a mistake, clarify that it was accidental, but by no means; NO WAY, NO HOW apologize for it. Right, because that makes sense.  Mr. Santorum went on to say that it was actually the Afghans that should be doing the apologizing.

 “The response… needs to be apologized for, by Karzai and the Afghan people, of attacking and killing our men and women in uniform, and overreacting to this mistake. That is the real crime, not what our soldiers did.”

 Okay, let try to put Rick’s theory into practice here…

You know what? I did mistakenly back into my neighbor’s car last week, but it wasn’t on purpose.  It was inadvertent – a misjudgment in night-time periphery.  It shouldn’t have occurred, but it was of course, just an accident.

I imagine that explanation will more than satisfy his claims adjuster.

But seriously though, someone cut off Santorum’s poppy supply please!  Westerners have played Occupy Afghanistan for the past several decades, have figuratively and literally pissed on their culture (and their dead) and now have burned their Qurans.  Mistake or not, how exactly did Santorum expect the Afghan people to respond? I’m pretty sure that we all believe in our heart of hearts that the matter of the burned Qurans was a horrible blunder on the part of the United States, but certainly one that was not deliberate.  I think however, at the very least, an apology for such an egregious error coming from the leader of the free world was not only a diplomatic gesture, but it was an opportunity to show that it isn’t global policing, ultimatums and sheer capitalism alone that makes our nation one of the greatest countries in the world, but the ability to display true contrition and humility, even in the face of an unintentional act that does.

Libya’s Freedom, Qaddafi’s Fate.

BBC’s News Hour.  NPR.  The Tom Joyner Morning Show.  CNN. The Russ Parr Morning Show.

On the way to work this morning, I was inundated with bandwagon breaking news out of Libya declaring that the former Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Qaddafi was captured and injured by National Transitional Council fighters in his hometown of Sirte.  Libyan reporters also disclosed that Qaddafi was found hiding in a hole (déjà vu?).  Hearing some Libyans who were interviewed in both Sirte and the nation’s capital of Tripoli expressing their sobbing elation and relief in broken English as well as in their native tongue was not only moving but gave me a prolonged case of gooseflesh.

But for all of the excitement and celebrations surrounding the end of tyranny in Libya, the reports of Colonel Qaddafi’s capture have only been coming from Libyan news and state television, and unfortunately, independent reports have yet to be confirmed.  But that has not stopped the international wires from broadcasting news that not only was Qaddafi captured, but was mortally wounded and purportedly dead.

U.S. officials and senior Obama Administration reps have been hesitant to confirm or deny any of this information however, and have instead been working frantically to substantiate Qaddafi’s capture and/or death, a White House administrator stated this morning.

Still, with Libyans declaring October 20^th as their new “Day of Independence”, I am sure that this is a story that will be developing swiftly and in more specific detail throughout the day.

Lions and Tigers and Bears…Ohio!?

Imagine waking up to reports that your children’s schools have been closed for the day and your employer has urged that you stay home, and there isn’t even a single snowflake in sight or any inclement weather on the horizon.  Imagine still, that these precautions have been taken due not to a community woosah day, but because exotic wild animals are on the loose in your neighborhood!

Well, for the folks in rural Zanesville, Ohio this wasn’t a hypothetical situation at all, as many rose with the sun to news that wild animals had broken free from their cages last night on a Muskingum County wild animal preserve where, once authorities arrived on the scene, found the zoo owner Terry Thompson dead.  Further investigating found that the animals’ cages had been opened, and the preserves external fences were unsecure; a detail that had many morning show reports this a.m. speculating on what actually happened and what caused Thompson’s death at the site.

Of the 48 Lions, leopards, cheetahs, black bears, grizzly bears, mountain lions and wolves (to name a few) that had escaped the privately owned zoo about 55 miles east of Columbus, close to 25 had been shot and killed Tuesday evening.  CNN interviewed legendary animal expert and the Columbus Zoo’s director emeritus Jack Hanna, who was asked to assist authorities in hunting and retrieving the animals, and he expressed remorse that so many animals had to be put down, but reiterated that in a scenario when escaped animals absconded into populated areas, human life had to be the priority.

But for as movie-ready as this unbelievable scenario has seemed, many neighbors who live near the preserve have not been surprised by the escape.  In 2006, it was reported that a lion had gotten loose from the small zoo, and over the years, many neighbors have called authorities complaining of hearing roaring and other deafening animal noises throughout the night.  Still, more than just the nuisance of living so close to such a bizarre place, neighbors said they have always been cautious and worried because although Thompson lived on the premises, he stayed in legal trouble regularly, due to his animal permits and the creatures getting out of their manufactured habitats all of the time.

Now, I will be the first to admit to being an avid fan zoos, Animal Planet and most things beastly (from afar of course), but the idea of having my very own Wizard of Oz scenario unfold right in my back yard would have me in complete and utter Cowardly Lion mode!

I mean, it’s clear that privately owning such a multitude of wild animals the way that Thompson did is legal in Ohio and many other states across the country, but when owners have been cited numerous times and proper precautions fail to be taken in caring for these animals (whose natural habitats are NOT somebody’s modified farm), perhaps the regulations surrounding the private ownership of such dangerous beasts should be revised and reinforced before the unthinkable were to happen; oh, wait…

Nicki + A Real British Accent = Sophia Grace

Forget about these Mini Minaj’s singing The Alphabet Song or God Save the Queen.  This little diva and her honey hued hype girl have expended all their adolescent learning capacity by absorbing the lyrics to actual sized Niki Minaj’s “Super Bass”.

And while in my opinion it is a crying shame that any child could be this prolific in reciting such suggestive and age-inappropriate lyrics while not having yet mastered long division, it seems that Sophie and company have not only wowed the millions who viewed their original “Super Bass” remake video on YouTube, but also got the attention of “Happy Feet” talk show host, Ellen.

Invited to the show to discuss how amazing and talented the duo was in becoming a viral sensation (lyrics notwithstanding, Sophia really has a pretty pure and crisp voice, and her hype girl’s animated banging of an imaginary drum and shaking her…back is quite entertaining), they were  afforded the ultimate surprised when their multi-colored wigged idol came onstage to perform “Super Bass” with them.

Now, while all I’ve been hearing is how “adorable” and “precocious” the little girls were, and how their YouTube video and this Ellen performance was likely a catalyst to their future stardom, I can’t help but to remain perplexed.  I mean really, take away the tiaras and pink princess wear and let’s rename Sophia, let’s say, Sheniqua…think her viral video would still be a “hit”?  Would the masses still find her as cute? Would this even be news?

Hmph.

Dōmo Arigatō, 21st Century Mr. Roboto

I can always count on my nephew to expose me to something bizarre, outlandish or cool (by teenage standards anyway) via this vast universe we call the internet.

Sliding around my kitchen in slow motion (and completely ruining a previously pristine pair of white socks) and pop-locking like Oz’s rickety Tin Man, I ceased my evening task of cooking to actual watch his display of robotic choreography.  When it became altogether apparent that the Jabberwocky’s Dance Reign would not be threatened on this night, I finally asked my nephew what exactly was he doing and why.

Of course he guided my attention to YouTube where a modern day Mr. Roboto (aka Marquese Scott) was body rocking for his life, and blowing my mind.  After watching the video for all of a minute and 30 seconds though, I had to put on my skeptic’s hat and try to determine how this dexterous dancer was contorting his limbs like MJ after slipping on a puddle of WD40!!

Bey’s Baby Bump: Now You See It, Now You Don’t?

Like she does every now and again, one of my best sister-friends texted me this evening to shoot the breeze.  Not about the weather, or Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 plan though, but to chat it up about Beyonce’s pregnancy and if I thought she has been wearing a prosthetic baby bump for the past several weeks after revealing her first trimester to the world.  Now while we thirty-something grown women actually do have other things to do with our lives than mull over Beyonce and her celebufetus, the topic only came up after my girlfriend sent me a video where Beyonce was interviewed on Australia’s “Sunday Night” news show, and in the midst of taking her seat on the set, the bun in her oven appeared to have deflated right before our eyes.

Now, Beyonce has the world in a tizzy wondering if she has been faking her pregnancy, are she and Jigga planning to adopt or if they have a surrogate to actually perform the manual labor (pun intended) come February.  Personally, I can’t imagine Bey and Jay feigning a pregnancy for the sake of superior media coverage or at the risk of multimedia whoredom, but after having seen this video, her wide-eyed reaction to the alleged belly flop (right around the 59 second mark) and then her hutched-over posture throughout the remainder of the interview, I do think that Mrs. Carter is preggers, but has been embellyishing a bit.

Hank, Hitler, The Three Stooges and Why Crack is Wack

I must admit, the one sucky part about having a blog site is, well…having a life.  Because I don’t blog for a living (oh, one sweet day), when I don’t hunker down and just commit an undisturbed hour just to posting, usually my job, family and/or wooo-saww time will take precedence over my writing.  What is even suckier about this is that 9 times of out 10, when I get into a perpetual state of busyness, I usually miss an opportunity to “break” a great post based on the recent lunacy going on in society or politics.  This was my cross to bear on Tuesday morning while jotting down notes on my sticky pad about Hank Williams, Jr. and why I didn’t really consider him a racist, but by all accounts, a likely indiscriminant abuser of substances both of the legal and illegal variety.

For those gluttons for punishment that actually watch the morning news show Fox and Friends, you get a pass this week, because for once, the “fair and balanced” network produced a rather entertaining segment that left the shows anchors as equally dumbfounded as the rest of us.  Now for those who have eternally sworn off Faux News, let me fill you in.

For reasons that only Rupert Murdoch’s receding hairline would know, Hank Williams, Jr. was invited to the show Monday, and not to ask the hosts if they were “ready for some football.”  In black-out shades, appearing torn all the way up, and between a somewhat creepy attempt at seduction with host Gretchen Carlson, Williams proceeded to display just how little he knew about politics…and math.

When asked who he favored in the GOP race, Hank replied with a swift, “nobody!” and then began his tirade about how the photo-oped golf excursion between President Obama and Speaker of the House Boehner was the worst political mistake ever.  Why? You ask.  Well, because according to the country singer, The Three Stooges are the enemy (1. Obama  2. Biden and 3. ??) and shouldn’t be engaging in any acts of civility across party lines.  Doing so would be like Hitler and Netanyahu working together to lower their golf handicaps.

But before everyone condemns Bocephus as being a racist, lets note that he did admit to liking  businessman and former Godfather Pizza mogul Hermain Cain as a presidential contender (although if he is always donning those black-out shades, it is possible that he might not realize that Cain is significantly melanin infused).  Also, Williams never called President Obama Hitler, he just made an obtuse dumb@$# comparison which suggested that in this extremely polarized country, our leaders shouldn’t be interested in bi-partisanship…and especially not on a golf course.  Now were Hank Williams’ comments bizarre times ten? Absolutely.  Did he further prove why staying abreast of the political process is so important? Sho’ did.  Was he effective in confusing and actually stunning the Fox & Friends hosts into an uncomfortable silence? You betcha.  Should Fox News more carefully vet their interviewees before going live from now on? Good luck with that one.

Seriously though, while Hank Jr. did make an off-hand and unfunny comparison between “OBAMA!” and the fuhrer with the worst mustache in history, all he was truly guilty of was being morosely ignorant, inarticulate and exemplifying drunkardness well before noon; offenses, yes. But none so great that the end result should’ve been ESPN pulling Williams’ iconic intro from the Monday Night Football game.  If we really want to tell the truth and shame the devil, Williams came to the show ill-prepared to talk politics and ultimately got called out on his incongruous statements regarding GOP candidate support and got surprisingly shut down when co-host Brian Kilmeade basically told him that his Hitler comparison was nonsensical.

Look folks, if we get bent out of shape every single time someone makes an asinine statement and turns it into a political talking point for dummies, then we will need neck braces, crutches and a chiropractor before too long.  I think this appearance by Williams on Fox & Friends was one of those telling moments where idiocy was exposed in its most basic and incoherent form, and that was a good thing.  Let the man have his inebriated opinions.  Just remember that if we truly want our politics to be effective and substantive, we have to first identify the white noise for what it is, and then simply filter it out to make room for true logic and discourse.

Obama: Campaigning, Constituencies and Colloquialisms

If ever there were a thankless job, I imagine that between drags on his Newport, Barack Obama would be lamenting to Michelle that the aforementioned was that of the office of President of The United States.  Whether he’s getting kicked in the teeth for trying to ensure that all of the nation’s citizens have a reasonable means by which to acquire medical treatment, blamed for the past, present and future fundamentals of this country’s economy or excluded as having had anything to do with the termination of International Enemy #1, President Obama has seemingly been given three years before everybody and their momma has decided that he’s responsible for the current decline of American Society.  But even as Barry makes preparations for a second term while bumping Mystikal’s “It Ain’t My Fault” throughout every room in The White House, it is important that we all take an assessing look at the direction of this country and identify what this administration has done well and what still needs to be timely and wholly addressed, should The President be afforded four more years.

For many Americans though, there seems to be no middle ground when it comes to our 44th.  It’s either Barry walks on water, or he needs to be publicly tarred and featured at the next Tea Party rally.  Unfortunately, thanks to these two extremes, any thoughtful or critical analysis on the job that President Obama has been doing thus far is more times than not seen as either “hate” or groupie love.  And when members of his most loyal constituency (re: black folks) start making some very vocal criticisms of the President, words like “sell out”, “jealous” or my personal favorite, “Uncle Tom” get strewn out into the Blackosphere.

For instance, people like noted philosopher, activist and Princeton professor Dr. Cornel West (don’t let his Matrix Reloaded and Raheem DeVaughn feature fool you, he’s still an academic) and political commentator/activist Tavis Smiley have been on the business end of Black America’s rebuke for publically calling out President Obama and his policies where they concern war, capitalism and the disproportionate effects of the recession on African-Americans.  Even California Congresswoman Maxine “the-Tea-Party-can-go-to-hell” Waters and other members of the Congressional Black Caucus have been critical of the president and the administration’s jobs record amid a current 16.7% unemployment rate for African-Americans (nearly 47% for younger African-Americans), only to be accused of rabble-rousing and not helping to join the fight in solving what ails America.

Apparently however, Mr. Obama had reached his culpability threshold and found the perfect opportunity to address some of his critics when he attended and spoke at the CBC’s annual Phoenix Awards gala last weekend.  Realizing his inner Reverend Dr. Obama, the president seared some of his detractors with fiery phrases like “stop complaining” and “take off your bedroom slippers.”  The President of course was speaking passionately about his desire to have lawmakers work with him to make legislations like his Jobs Act a reality, but his familiar dressing down of the black lawmakers may not have had the desired effect.

Rep. Allen West, a Republican member of the CBC from Florida, called Obama’s comments “disrespectful and reprehensible,” while Maxine Waters wondered if The President would have spoken so freely with other minority constituencies.

 ”I found that language a bit curious because the president spoke to the Hispanic Caucus, and certainly they’re pushing him on immigration… he certainly didn’t tell them to stop complaining. And he would never say that to the gay and lesbian community, who really pushed him on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Personally, while I cringed a bit at Mr. Obama’s house slippers reference (if I’m being honest, it was deliberate and pretty indelicate), I did appreciate  the fact that he actually acknowledged that some black activists and members of the CBC were critical of his record and took the time to respond to it (if not round-aboutly).  What did annoy me a bit however, was the realization that Mr. Obama has not appeared as comfortable addressing his conservative detractors as bluntly as he did the attendees at the CBC Gala.

I don’t think that as a public servant, Barack Obama is above reproach when people are genuinely feeling as though he isn’t representing their interest, but I also don’t think Barack Obama should simply smile and nod or bend over backwards acquiescently as a means to avoid confrontation with those who don’t agree with his politics.  If he truly wants to enact change, Mr. Obama is going to have to be authoritative; he is going to have to be bold, and his is going to have to be confrontational.  And not just with the black people that Al Sharpton reminds “not to compare him with the Almighty, but with the alternative.”

Welp, No More World Peace, How About a Rear Naked Choke?

It seems as though I was one of the suckers that clearly bought into the stereotype about all 6’7” blonds from the West Coast being able to dance. Unfortunately though, the joke was clearly on me last night.

Metta World Peace, or the L.A. Laker Forward formerly known as Ronald William Artest, Jr. and his dancing partner Peta Murgatroyd were the first couple eliminated from the Dancing with the Stars season opener, and from his convulsive Cha Cha Cha, bling’d out bowtie/fedora combo and ridiculous new ‘do, it wasn’t that hard to see why.  But like the gentler giant that World Peace has been lately, he graciously bid his competitors adieu, planted a chaste kiss on Nancy Grace’s cheek (she joined him in the bottom two) and thanked Peta for all her hard work whipping him into dancing shape.

So as promised, I’m pretty much done with DWTS for this season.  Now, I had planned to catch X-Factor to see if my favorite Brit’s acrid tongue had lost any of its venom, but thanks to my honey, I’m elbows deep into the season premiere of The Ultimate Fighter.  And wouldn’t you know it, I’ve already learned something.  Apparently ladies, it’s not called a butt-naked choke.

Thanks to Ray J, Kevin Hart’s Next Stand-Up is Going to Be a Classic!

By now we’ve all heard (or read the transcript of) Ray J’s fake-me-out thug rant about rapper Fabolous. Apparently, Brandy’s little brother took exception to being laughed at singing and playing the piano in Floyd Mayweather’s living room during a 24-hour concert he hosted before his underwhelming, overpriced boxing match last weekend in Vegas.

Long story short (sorry folks, I fear that Ray J’s verbal diarrhea might be contagious, so you won’t find it here) after likely marinating on Fabolous’ teasing of him and his lameness, and his entourage hyping him up not to be insulted, Willie Norwood , Jr. had one of the most epic, deplorable and embarrassing (for mankind in general) meltdowns, as aired by New Yorks, 105.1’s “The Breakfast Club”.

What was most funny (read: painful and unfortunate) was the fact that after Ray J finished his tirade about how he doesn’t tolerate *expletive* disrespect from *expletives* and how insignificant a music artist Fabolous was in comparison to he, Ray proceeded to boast pretentiously about his worldly goods, his “money team” membership and his nefarious relationship with goons who take indecent and illegal liberties with unsuspecting men.

In Fabolous’ later response, he pretty much refuted Ray J’s whimsical flights of fancy, but not before confirming a few similarities. Like the fact that Kevin Hart (and a few other celebrities) were present for the fake fisticuffs and would attest to the non-main-event.

And it is for that one reason that for the next 24 hours I plan to follow Kevin and historically explore his tweets from Saturday Night.  It’s like the material for his next stand-up pretty much just wrote itself!!!!